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To Change Or Not To Change

Sometimes I think if I knew then what I know now . I could have a different life . Not so many hard times and heartache .

I could have avoided so many tears and fears . But then I realize because of these hard times  hard lesson fought and learned , I am the person I am today . Which gave me the life I have , and the friends and loved ones I have in my life . And suddenly the prospects of easier times , better memories and
not so many bumps in the road does not seem as tempting as it did .

I like who I am , how I think and the people I care for and who care for me . I like the fact that I was taught to use my past to recognize the need in others
for the compassion and help I myself had wanted and sometimes did not receive .

so I guess if I knew then what I know now the only thing that would have changed  is feeling  stronger .I would not have let  myself feel as alone and sink in  despair as I did at times knowing that in the future , things would indeed change , and that I would be a better person for it .
softkitti softkitti 22-25, F 65 Responses Nov 13, 2011

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I really don't see the point in stopping children from experiencing the uncomfortable things in life, because it shapes us, and balances us. Most people are taught that it is bad to experience negative things; that they are not meant to experience it because bad things happen to bad people. Like, for instance, a teen girl decides to experiment with drugs, and they see it as a bad thing. They see themselves as bad, so they must to bad things, for all the punishments they have gotten in their life. Or they could see themselves as good, and always put others before themselves. Then there is the notion that bad things happen to good people, and good things happen to good people. It goes all ways, and i see it as that things just happen, and it does not define who we are as people.

I don't think I've ever looked back at life and thought: "If only this that or the other hadn't happened." It's happened. We try to be grateful for what we have and make the best of it with what we have.

Interesting outlook, Kitti. I like it. Most of the time, life tends to mold us into who we are as people. For instance, one could live a life in shelter away from the real world, then one day they find themselves thrown into the battlefield with no battle strategy, but those who've been on the grounds for a time will have a better outlook on how to defeat their enemies. Battle hardened as they say. Not always the case, though, some can figure their way through the thick by sitting back and thinking about the struggles of others and envisioning themselves in the same scenario. Deep thinker's as they say.<br />
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Now that I think about it, this kinda reminds me of "Broken, Beat, and Scarred" from Metallica. "What don't kill you'll make you more strong". Odd wording, but I think Hetfield really nailed it with that one.

I agree. To change things from past would change who you are now,someone strong enough to realize that the past is the past is part of who you are even all the bad besides no such thing as a perfect life.

Thank you play .. I agree 100% with you , I always have hope though that little by little that society may change small bits by small bits and more and more peeps reach out their hand to their fellow man . I have been called naive , dreamer .. etc . .. But I still think its possible . Thank you again for your comment and compliment =-)

I'm glad that you think this way! I've rolled this idea around many times and I can never find a situation that if I had changed would have given me an long term benefits. we are all a product of our experiences and as hard as it is sometimes to see what you really needed back then yet never received. it truly takes a big person to recognize that need in others and give it to them now. I don't think a lot of people look back, learn and offer their assistance to others. It seems more common for people to sit back and allow others to struggle and figure it out on their own. It's almost as if they feel like because nobody was their for them then they don't need to be there for others. from what I've read of your posts you have a great way to view life. Thanks for sharing.

Thank you for your comment king .. <br />
And thank u for the link useful I will be sure to take a look =-)

Useful stories<br />
<br />
www.usefulstory.com

good idea.this is all who are on top must think of sometimes just a little help can lift someones faith.as the little tablet of drug can alleviate someones pain and bring a smile on his/her face so as the little we can offer can bring a big smile of someones face. God bless you for ya good idea.

good idea.this is all who are on top must think of sometimes just a little help can lift someones faith.as the little tablet of drug can alleviate someones pain and bring a smile on his/her face so as the little we can offer can bring a big smile of someones face. God bless you for ya good idea.

you have rightly hit the nail on the head.sometimes i also think the same and wonder if i were not wise enough but i keep encouraging myself and move ahead in life.as the saying goes life is how you make it,at the end of the day you will be judge by your success and not what you went through.

Thank you for sharing this. I'm so close to turning that corner myself and finally feel that who I am now was worth all that past, so I found this inspiring.

I am glad you see the positive side instead of blaming your problems on it. I just think it is crazy how so many people can look back on their experiences and grow as a person. It's people like you that inspire me to be... me :)

I am glad you see the positive side instead of blaming your problems on it. I just think it is crazy how so many people can look back on their experiences and grow as a person. It's people like you that inspire me to be... me :)

*rocks out with original and plays air guitar * thanks for your comment .=-D

So I'd say that..<br />
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You Rock..!!<br />
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Keep up the same..

So..I'd say..You Rock..!! :) <br />
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Keep up the same...

*high fives jakeiesieber * I wish you peace , success and everything good in the world !=-)

"I like who I am , how I think and the people I care for and who care for me . I like the fact that I was taught to use my past to recognize the need in others<br />
for the compassion and help I myself had wanted and sometimes did not receive ."<br />
This pretty much sums up my life motto. I want to make people happy because when feel like you have nothing to live for it is really hard to escape by yourself, If I can be there for someone and make their struggle a little easier I will know I did something good in the world. I want to help for society, other people, and for myself.

Thank you so much gover I wish u the same !=-)

Life does have 20/20 vision. We live, learn and grow with hopes to have and be in a better place. Good for you in seeing that it is not the things that you needed to change but the feeling from within!! Good luck and hope all your experiences bring you, the best from what you have learned. :)

Yes ccland exactly surviving is something to celebrate for sure !=-)<br />
*high fives brat*=-D<br />
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Wils it most certainly is , life is a constant learning session with some lessons harder to learn than others but those are the ones that teach us the most =-)<br />
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And a way to go to you too Div going on , surviving , freeing yourself from stifling hatred and loving those are such important lessons to learn, consider yourself kitti highfived!=-D

Way to Go Kitty. I think i feel the same. I used to hate and loathe those who pained me and made me suffer, but i am free now of all the hate and loathing...i have learned to love, even those i used to hate so much!

Life is all about learning. They tell us its about having fun...balooney.

I feel the same way. I thought the same things until I thought about my life and now I love the way I am. I am so awesome at times.

I can relate to this. I suffered from severe clinical depression for years - for as long as I can remember - although I didn't know what was wrong until much later. It affected my relationships with my family, isolated me from other people, and affected my career choice and job performance. I finally got effective treatment and I feel like a new person. Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I had not been depressed. I don't let myself dwell on those thoughts because I think that my illness made me stronger and more compassionate in the long run. We who have been through health problems, losses, and other painful life events are survivors. We should celebrate that.

I can relate to this. I suffered from severe clinical depression for years - for as long as I can remember - although I didn't know what was wrong until much later. It affected my relationships with my family, isolated me from other people, and affected my career choice and job performance. I finally got effective treatment and I feel like a new person. Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I had not been depressed. I don't let myself dwell on those thoughts because I think that my illness made me stronger and more compassionate in the long run. We who have been through health problems, losses, and other painful life events are survivors. We should celebrate that.

When I was 18 I threw everything I owned in the back of a car, about 300 bucks in my pocket and took off. <br />
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I was wild, adventurous, but more so I hated everything that I was inside. Part of me wasn't going for the adventure...but, running from who I was... <br />
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Its taken me 6 years... to finally "accept" who I am just wanted to comment... Because those thoughts were the same ones I had... I'f only I had know what I know now... then maybe just maybe life would be better...

You are hilarious! The felt pimp hat killed me. Hey, I wasn't asking you to be pimp for me, I was just asking you to help me find a gorgeous, sweet, honest, trustworthy, faithful, funny, intelligent, interesting, entertaining guy. *hands kitti the pimp hat* Okay, whatever it takes, wear the hat then. : D

Thank you for your comment E , yes that is important for changes to count no?

Make sure that your change is sustainable. It is not over until it is over. (Matt. 12: 43-45)

Why thank you ohh elusive of dreams and your pretty hot stuff yourself there bag kitty . Dont let them kid you , they come for the dancing *puts red felt pimp hat on and does the charleston *=-P

Wow, when did you become so popular? No wonder you have no time for me. I have to go check out how many fans you have now. Was there a popularity contest that I missed or something? <br />
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Well, in any case, before I read all your rave reviews, I read your story yet again and I have to say, it's not half bad. ;)

why thank you memphis13 =-D

wow....you inspire me...

Kerrigan thank you for your comment ...=-) <br />
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Search I like that line ! yes its made me good or bad <br />
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cold810 I am so happy you liked my post !! I do that all the time here .. I will read a post and say omg that is how I felt but didnt know how .. I believe that is the beauty of this site I believe =-D

Your words are eloquent and totally attuned to how I am feeling about myself, I wish that I had been articulate enough to have wrote them.

There is a song by the Faces and it go's like this " I wish that I new what i no now when I was younger" Like you said it's made you who you are now!

Thank you amington that is so sweet of you..=-D

I think the only downside to the whole "If I only knew then what I know now" concept is that some people end up living in that space and forget to make a life in the here and now with what they actually HAVE learned.<br />
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That said, Softkitti, it is very courageous and astute of you to recognize that despite the pain and sorrows you've had to experience along the way, you are who you are because of some of the bumps that your life has taken you over.<br />
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May you continue to stay as self-aware and grow forward, and may your life be filled with more happy events than sad.

ahhh soledad sometimes anger spurs determination , it has in my case .. I wish you much strength and determination on your path of life ! =-)<br />
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Yes jen I agree we live our lives always looking to the future and making sure the story of our life will be one we can recall and be proud of . thank you for your comment.=-D

I feel the same the way , that you do. Sometime, I think If I knew what going be happend to me, I would change several things about my life and myself. We keep learn from our mistake. I constanly tried to change or improve myself or quality of life. I think we all have dark side and we have thing that we might not be pround of . However, be pround of yourself and your accomplishments. Try not dwelling on your past and look head to future. Your story will inspire another people.

I don't know personally but I totally know what your talking about been there done that . I feel like your a special person only special realize that everthing happens for a reason let it be then or now . After reading what you wrote it opened n released alot of anger in me , thanks for sharing your thoughts I'm sure it made a difference in many just like me . You have a friend here .

ohh wilde found this kittis catnip ... Seuss!!<br />
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"Things may happen and often they do to people as brainy and footsy as you "!<br />
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Thank you so much for that I loved your comment . Thanks Wilde .

     <br />
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” (Dr. Seuss, borrowed by me for one softkitti)<br />
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You are a precious and special person, and I'm glad You are so You.

Thank you Momamoo for the comment and compliment !=-)

I wish I had your wonderful grace! You are blessed.

Thank you cuppa its funny though you say I inspire and yet you have inspired me in so many ways without even knowing *files beautiful cuppa under all time favorites just for me *=-P<br />
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Hey NRD yes its important to accept ourselves before others can ... dont worry it will come and you will be the better for it .. *hugs* I wish you peace V .<br />
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Kans thank you .. I was not like this intially so many times I would look back especially my most worst times and wish I could erase it is only recently I have had a stern talk with myself and changed my out look . I cannot wish anything away ... and so those times will be my build blocks to make my self a better more compassionate person .. I am determined on that fact now .. thanks for your comment my friend !<br />
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And may you be blessed phant thank you so much =-)<br />
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*high fives zzzzzzzzzzz * thanks zzzzz<br />
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weed I will definitely check that out .. thanks for your comment <br />
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Yes Freddy thank you I do the same .. but your right it is usually the hard choices that mold our strength of character .. and dont you go changing either !! =-)

Your life resembles mine in so many ways. I look back on choices I have made an thi k they were good bit really they were choices I was forced 2 make at the ime. Things change and time changes people not they themselves change. I learned that an I am better for the experience. Just remember, you ate who you areand nobody should try change you for better or worse.

You are exactly why I write about the " quirks " check out my latest book from what I call my<br />
" bathroom break " series.. "Whatever I'm Still Here" Barnes and Noble, Amazon.com and several others...This is NOT a novel..hopefully you will read it and leave comments...Good for you that you realized your self-worth , kudos !...many never discover their worth....weedbychoice

wow..that's the spirit!!!

I like your attitude!!! i've recently resolved on the same - to forget to regret - just learn from the past and appreciate what it's given me - and look forward to the future with new hope ;) God bless u for the same...

I like your attitude!!! i've recently resolved on the same - to forget to regret - just learn from the past and appreciate what it's given me - and look forward to the future with new hope ;) God bless u for the same...

Hi<br />
True...<br />
But in my case, I have hopes to accept my self sooner...<br />
As on date, I am meddling with my being<br />
Yours<br />
V. Narayanan

lol, no neither of us will change . We are good the way we are . Of course little things naturally change with age , experience and the like but our essential selves no change needed .<br />
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wow went off on my mental path there my bad *does the moonwalk out*

Friends, Romans, and country men, lend me your ear...To change or not to change...that is the question. Actually, I don't need an ear, I already have two and two seems to be enough for now.<br />
*sings "Don't go changing...to try and please me..."* Yeah, right, like that would ever happen. lol

Nice! LOL I feel so much better now!

=-P

I love when you write. Whatever you write. You always make me think. You write and I will read. And I'll try not to write a book as a comment. That's rude but I don't mean it to be rude, you just get me thinking and I just end up typing as I think. Blah...blah...blah...Just know that I never mean it that way, okay?

No I love your comments sweet elusive .. keep them coming . I know I have been quite a little crazy busy kitti lately but I feel the writing bee biting me in the booty so I may start writing more .

Sorry it was so long. Your stories always make me think. You are a wonderful writer. I wish you wrote more often.

*scratches head and squints eye at lafs * huh?!! =-P<br />
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aww I think you are the cats meow yourself elusive dream thanks for the love and comment !!=-D

I'm so glad that you are who you are because you are wonderful. I am happy that you are happy with your life as it is now. I would never want you to suffer any pain or difficulty but I can relate to that also. <br />
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I think about what I am going through now, all the different aspects of it. Things I thought I would NEVER have to deal with and though I hope that I was a good person before and I do believe I was...by no means a perfect person but I always tried to be kind to everyone...now I see where I will be able to relate personally to so many more people now that I am going through all this. <br />
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I will understand more than I would have before. Also, I am aware that I am not the only person going through these things now or ever, nor will I be the last. It gives me some hope to believe there is a method in the madness...maybe there is a plan that we just can't understand because we can't see the whole picture where we stand now.<br />
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Kitti, I love you exactly the way you are and you are perfect to me! I treasure you and am proud to call you my friend. You deserve the best of everything and I hope that you will always have that in your life. xo...

But u put celium3 in his baked beans

=-D your sweet monana ..=-P