I Probably Wouldn't Be Me

If I had known that burying it deep down would only mean it will come back years later, I would have tried to sort it out then.
If I had known that history does repeat itself until you learn from it, I would have paid more attention.
If I had known that depression can kill you, I wouldn't have carried it around with me for years.
If I had known the day my father raped me, I would have left the house that day.
If I had known my mom leaving would hurt me so much, I probably would have encouraged her to look for other alternatives.
If I had known that my father had prepared me my whole life to be a victim, I would have fought harder.
If I had known that people can lie and cheat in order to get what they want from you, I wouldn't have been raped the first time.
If I had known that some people are worth it, maybe I would have looked for them first.

But then again, I probably wouldn't be me.
Mapping Mapping
26-30, F
1 Response Sep 19, 2012

Wow. What a powerful statement about hindsight, and self awareness. I've never been raped, but I think there have been times where I was set up to be the victim and to that, I can relate a little.

It's sad to see how some of us get sent into this world... But it's also encouraging to see we make it after all :)

You have been severely tested...and you PASSED !!! Congratulations on your survival.

Back at you :)