Mommy Dearest

I was never close with my mother . I'm a daddy's girl threw and threw. I grew up on motorcycles and being a Tom boy. I never made my mom happy. Everyone told me our mother daughter relationship will get better when I got older. I'm 25 now and I want nothing to do with my mother. She called me names as a child. Since I was a Tom boy I was called "gay " or a "lesbian". Every time i would spend time with my father...like riding our dirt bikes or going to races she would say very disturbing things like I was in love with my dad. Not in a nice way. Always made fun of the things I did. Never liked any of my boyfriends until now my fiancé. And she says he's too good for me. I've never been to jail or been in trouble. I never ask her for money. When my dad calls to talk to me she listens onnthenother line or checks his phone.meh gets screamed at for talking to me so if he calls me he will say "dont tell your mother" umm ok. Why do I have to lie about talking to my own dad. He even says I'm his kid too and he has and had more fun with me than by little brother who's 16. My mom calls me fat, ugly, *****, anything you can imagine. I won't even type half the stuff she's said to me. After being blonde for 24 years I dyed my hair brown and my mom really hates it. She said she won't go anywhere with me in public because I look trashy. She says awful hateful things. I finally blocked her from calling me.and she blocked me from every phone she has..excluding dad and my brother. I can't remember the last time she told me she loved me or hugged me. Let alone proud of me. I got used to it. But its hard planning a wedding with no family and no mother. I don't even know if anyone reads these things. I just had to get it off my chest