I Wish I Was A More Spontaneous Person
When it comes to little mini-adventures I am a very spontaneous person. I can easily just make plans at last minute and I like not knowing what the day's going to bring when you just decide to make a left or right on a road and see where it takes you. I'm good at that kind of spontaneity.
What I'm no good at is big decisions. I agonise over them for days, weeks, even months! I like to research and think, and even if I believe I've made up my mind I still continue to research and plan until I am absolutely certain of every little detail. I did it for my choice of university, when I decided to move to America, in fact I even did it for my choice of college even when I knew there was no decent alternative! Looking back, I know that I actually made up my minds about every single one of these decisions very early on, based on gut feeling but I lacked the spontaneity to go with it until I had exhausted all possible source of research and information. I guess it's just a plain old lack of courage and gumption, or perhaps it's that I don't trust anyone, including myself.
Well, yesterday (mid-football game in fact when my head wasn't in the best of places any way) I got a phone call giving me an opportunity to work in what would be a dream job but it involves me moving away to somewhere I don't know next freaking week! I provisionally agreed to it last night as I was in such a state of shock and I pretty much have today to figure it all out properly in my head. I freaked a little bit last night because I wasn't sure how to go about this and ended up scoffing all the oreos in the house in a state of confusion (oops). My parents are on holiday, I'm not close to any of my "friends" any more and don't even mention the word brothers to me; so I don't have anyone to discuss it with or to help me get ready or anything. I got so muddled up this morning that I actually consulted my magic 8 ball...
Now, don't judge me but it's a High School Musical magic 8 ball so it says things like "your head's in the game" and "the part is yours" so when it said "stick to the status quo" I got a little pissed off with it. I hate the status quo. The status quo for my life sucks. I live in a town I've hated since I was four, full of people I have absolutely nothing in common with and all the friends I used to have, they've long since moved on. There are zero job prospects in this area and living with the 'rents is driving both me and my mother insane. So my reaction was, "Screw you magic 8 ball! I refuse to stick to the status quo! The status quo sucks!"
So that's when my spontaneous streak began. This morning. I am moving away and the more I think about it, it's really no big deal. When I'm in any other place I have no trouble being spontaneous. I think it's just the shackles of being tied down to "home" and the responsibilities that brings which restricts my sense of freedom.
What I'm no good at is big decisions. I agonise over them for days, weeks, even months! I like to research and think, and even if I believe I've made up my mind I still continue to research and plan until I am absolutely certain of every little detail. I did it for my choice of university, when I decided to move to America, in fact I even did it for my choice of college even when I knew there was no decent alternative! Looking back, I know that I actually made up my minds about every single one of these decisions very early on, based on gut feeling but I lacked the spontaneity to go with it until I had exhausted all possible source of research and information. I guess it's just a plain old lack of courage and gumption, or perhaps it's that I don't trust anyone, including myself.
Well, yesterday (mid-football game in fact when my head wasn't in the best of places any way) I got a phone call giving me an opportunity to work in what would be a dream job but it involves me moving away to somewhere I don't know next freaking week! I provisionally agreed to it last night as I was in such a state of shock and I pretty much have today to figure it all out properly in my head. I freaked a little bit last night because I wasn't sure how to go about this and ended up scoffing all the oreos in the house in a state of confusion (oops). My parents are on holiday, I'm not close to any of my "friends" any more and don't even mention the word brothers to me; so I don't have anyone to discuss it with or to help me get ready or anything. I got so muddled up this morning that I actually consulted my magic 8 ball...
Now, don't judge me but it's a High School Musical magic 8 ball so it says things like "your head's in the game" and "the part is yours" so when it said "stick to the status quo" I got a little pissed off with it. I hate the status quo. The status quo for my life sucks. I live in a town I've hated since I was four, full of people I have absolutely nothing in common with and all the friends I used to have, they've long since moved on. There are zero job prospects in this area and living with the 'rents is driving both me and my mother insane. So my reaction was, "Screw you magic 8 ball! I refuse to stick to the status quo! The status quo sucks!"
So that's when my spontaneous streak began. This morning. I am moving away and the more I think about it, it's really no big deal. When I'm in any other place I have no trouble being spontaneous. I think it's just the shackles of being tied down to "home" and the responsibilities that brings which restricts my sense of freedom.
By:
sezziy
Age:
22-25
,
Female
