Clinical Depression Is the Worst

I have clinical depression and find that as I get older the medication stops working as well.  I feel so tired of fighting with myself about living vs. dying and all the people I might hurt if I did kill myself.  I hate my job, even though it's the best I've ever had it's really difficult and I work with all men.  I'm the only woman.  Some might say that's a bonus but it sucks because they're very degrading and competitive.  My husband hasn't left me yet, but he should.  My son is a good boy and I hope I don't pass this horrible depression on to him.  He's an innocent bystander that didn't even get to choose whether he'd like to have a crazy lady for a mommy or not. 

I can't imagine the pain you must be going through with your child being gone and not being able to be buried next to him.  It sounds like breaking up with that jerk was the best thing you ever could've done.  Remember that $ is just that... $.  You can always make more.    You will get to see your son in heaven and you will be together again for sure.  I think I'll try to make some coffee and see if I can't make it through another depressing day.  If I cry at my desk at work again I will be so embarrased. 

 

dizzygirlio dizzygirlio
36-40, F
Jul 16, 2007