I'm Gonna Lose The Game Of Life Anyway

I hate my life, and a lot of people in it. And I can never tell anybody about how I feel. I told my one friend that I was going to kill myself and all she said was : "Before my birthday? How could you!?" That made me want to kill myself more. It made me feel like nobody cared about me. And I wanted to kill myself so badly last week. Everyday I get dressed, I think that this will be the last time I get up in the morning for school. But when I finally get to school, My one friend always cheers me up in third period. I don't know if she is aware that she is pretty much the only thing keeping me alive right now. She sits behind me, and we always sit next to each other to work on papers. But once I go home, everything rushes back. All the hate, bad memories, and sadness. And I can never climb back out completely.
Emofox Emofox
18-21, T
1 Response May 6, 2012

Its tough to realize how selfish people are. Instead of climbing out, try to climb in so to speak. Try sitting down and meditating. Try to not have thoughts. Focus on the stillness. It is believed that the mind and the body are sort of opposites. a healthy body is one that is active, but a healthy mind is one that is still. Try and let go of judgements as best you can