Want To Be In Good Relationship

I really hope I can find a guy I have a lot in common with, and has the same flaws I have.  I was always happiest when I associated with guys who had the same flaws I had.  We perceived the society the same way, and were able to laugh together.  I want to find a guy who is sensitive, and was over-sheltered by parents, had controling parents, and maybe also has blocked emotional development issues. 

Being ambitious like me and into career and making money is a plus, but I'm mainly looking for someone who will fit with me (when it comes to internal social/emotional qualities). 

I'm not interested in getting involved with a guy who I'm out of his league.  I don't know a WHOLE lot about relationships, but one of my theorys is that a die alone formula for women is when they "hook up" or get sexually involved with a man who are in a better league then them, when they stay with a boyfriend like that for an extended period of time, or if they have a friends with benefits with one of those for a period of time.  When I mention the man is in a better league I mean has experienced a better social life growing up, more sophisticated, has higher self esteem, had healthy emotional development, never went though the negative experiences I went through.  I'm very serious about wanting to be in a good relationship, and am not interested in being some man's girl toy.  

The guy who had it better than then girl will just use the girl as a toy and devalue her.  I want a guy who wants to laugh with me, and relate to me, and be a very close companion, not look down on me or waste my time. 
journeytowhere journeytowhere 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 21, 2011

Your Response


I agree with having compatibility on key aspects of ourselves and common background. I disagree with having shared emotional damage and wounds. I think that is a recipe for break up. I believe if one has strength or maturity or healthiness in one area of life and the other does not then s/he can carry the relationship in that one area. <br />
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And for the other person has other healthy qualities as well. Ex. When someone has experienced a distant or abusive parent the other has a more loving upbringing then s/he can be more patient. <br />
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I do believe that any of us with our past wounds from childhood need to get therapy on it in order to have a healthy relationship.