How Can There Be Hope

It is difficult to live without hope. Hope and false dreams that somehow, someday things will change and be the way I dreamed them to be is what has kept me going but I think I am tired of trying, waiting, hoping.

I had just hoped for a loving partner on whose shoulder I could lay my head and find peace and happiness. It turned out to be a marriage with no love in it at all. My husband and I have always been fighting, have no relationship other than of hate and dislike towards each other. There has been no love in my life.

I used to be very ambitious and had hoped for a successful career in the IT sector. I worked for about 10 years but have not been working for last 9 years. When I worked, all my colleagues and managers were thrilled with my work. But my problem is I get stressed about politics in work place. Could not handle the stress, so quit after working for 10 years and have not been working for the last 9 years.

I hoped for a child who would be my best friend in life since the husband turned out to be the worst enemy. But at this point I can decide if my teen child is my worst enemy or my husband is.

I need guidance and courage to get back to work, to get out of all these messed up relations, to leave eveything and everyone behind and to start a new life. That is what I should do but so far, haven't found the courage. I get the exact opposite of what I hope for, so feel worried that even if I tried to start fresh, it wouldn't work out. I have always been hopeful that things will change but now that hope has left me and so I feel very depressed and absolutely helpless.
meme132012 meme132012
41-45
Sep 12, 2012