I'm In Love With 2 People.

Hi, I'm bisexual and I have only come out to a few people. I have quite a few friends, but I have 2 really good friends that I've been friends with forever. One of them is a guy, and the other is a girl. They're both straight. At the beginning of my story I haven't come out to anyone. Over the years of being friends with them, hanging out, watching movies, playing games, and overall having a great time, I ended up falling in love with both of them. Since I hadn't come out yet, I was leaning towards the girl more so as not to creep out my best guy friend. I finally told her I liked her, and to my surprise and amazement, she said she liked me too. At the time, she was dating this guy that she met online and had only seen in person twice. She ended up breaking up with him after I told her the truth, but then said she wanted to wait a while before being with me. I was fine with waiting a little while longer, so I said okay. A month went by before I brought up the subject again, and, without hesitation she says "I just want to be friends, I don't really like you." So, heartbroken, I acted like I was fine with it and we continued our friendship. The next couple of months went by, I was depressed the entire time, but I put on a smile and acted like nothing was wrong. Then, I started college and, of course with my luck, I get a roommate who is gay. I have no problem with it, but I hadn't come out of the closet yet so it was awkward. He then meets my guy friend and they start skyping and texting all the time, and my roommate would skype with him and take his shirt off, and my guy friend would ask him questions about how he came out and blah blah blah. That started making me wonder (and really really hope) if my guy friend was gay too and just not out of the closet like me. So at this point I'm really jealous of my roommate constantly flirting with my best guy friend who I'm in love with. So, I slowly start to tell my friends I'm bi. I didn't tell my 2 best friends first, because I didn't want to admit I was in love with them. Finally, after a couple of my friends knew and were cool with it, I told my best guy friend that I was in love with him and my girl friend.. His response was "I don't care, we can still be friends!" Just like that. So, we stay friends. Even though it's killing me inside and I'm even more depressed than before. Then, after a couple weeks, my 2 best friends start dating. So here I am, watching my 2 best friends get together only a couple weeks after I confessed my love for both of them, and I'm still friends with them acting like nothing's wrong. I feel like if I stop being friends with them it will hurt more than staying friends with them. I just want to hear an opinion from someone I don't know whatsoever so I know it's an honest opinion and not the crap advice that friends give. Please, I just want really be happy, rather than this fake happy I've been showcasing all this time. If anyone has any advice, I'd like to hear it.
hallasholm101 hallasholm101
1 Response Nov 26, 2012

First of all, welcome to EP and kudos for writing your first story on EP!
This is the right place to find someone like you and someone who understands you.

Yours seems to be a complicated story, I guess someone could make a good movie out of it :)

It's difficult to be 'just friends' with someone you're in love with. Some people are not mature enough to understand that, so maybe you have to explain it to them... Probably you have been friends with them for so long that they now see you just as a friend, they never thought about you as a potential partner.
My honest opinion is that you'll probably end up being 'less friend' with them, and maybe find someone else you will like, and date, and love.
It can take years, so be patient, and try to relax and have fun.

Thanks. I tried talking to them about it, and they were just like "I don't know why you're acting like this."

After that, I told them I needed to stop speaking to them for a while. I don't know if that's the right decision, but I haven't spoken to them in about a week now. It hasn't gotten any easier and I still think about them all the time, but I'm forcing myself to not give in to the temptation to talk to them.