Am I Really Unhappy? Because I Am Rethinking My Relationship.

I have been with my bf for 4 1/2 years now. He is the only man that I considered my best friend and lover at the same time. We have had great times together and I am happy with the family we have created together. We have been living together for 3 years and he has two boys ages 13 and 14. I have no kids. I came into this relationship not thinking I would adjust to dealing with his kids, but I proved myself wrong. I love them as if they were my own. I do everything for them, take them to school, buy them stuff, etc. I take care of him and his boys. We have gone through so much together and he has stayed through my ups and downs just like I Have with his. I love what I have but lately I feel as if my heart is questioning my happiness. I am constantly getting upset over comments and jokes he makes. Even though he says hes joking, it bothers me that he doesn't respect my feelings. Why does he like to **** me off? I try to let it go at times, but its just annoyance on my part I guess. Most of the time, this problem ends in a fight. He says its me, that Im the one with the problem and that Im always angry and negative. I never thought I was a negative person, I try to live life to the fullest. But I find myself thinking he may be right. I let my thoughts run my mind and I let one little thing ruin everything. I am constantly questioning if this relationship is the reason for my unhappiness. I have tried to discuss it with him but it seems he is tired of hearing me and my gripes. I don't feel his love even though he says he loves me. I have heard friends tell me they think ive settled, because he was my first real relationship. I am scared to lose what I have but I dont want to be in an unhappy relationship. At this moment, I am distancing myself from him and not showing as much attention to our problems or even trying to make things better. I feel exhausted. I have tried everything. It is almost 5 years into this and not even a ring. Even though he tells me he tried but could not afford it right now. I respect that, but if he really wanted it to happen and show me he wants me forever, he would have tried hard. I dont care for the most expensive ring. I am hurting so much at this point and turning to god for answers. I feel I need to make myself happy for this relationship to work. So I am taking the time to worry about me and making me a happy positive person. I know I cant change the way things are and will let time work its magic. But I would like a biased opinion. Should I let this go?
mina4380 mina4380
31-35, F
2 Responses Jan 8, 2013

It sounds like early on in the relationship you both had ups & downs that you supported each other with. You seem to in a down now but he makes fun of it? He could genuinely attempting to use humour to lift your mood or he could be being an insensitive ***. I'm thinking the latter if it's leading to arguments.

You mention a ring. Is that you truely want? Would that 'prove' his love?

Have a long think about what you want from the relationship and picture yourself 5 / 10 / 20 years in the future.

I think u should give it a try atleast one more time and try so talk to him again. But try a different approach. Have you ever ask him what are his goals, where does he see himself next 5 yrs. With the second question according to how he answers u will know if that ring coming anytime soon. U can also ask him where does he see u in his life.
U have to know how to ask question that will give u answers.
Have u ever read think like a lady think like a man by steve harvey if u haven't u should buy that book

The book is think like a lady act like a man

Ok I see what you mean. Actually, was looking at that book yesterday online. Ok, I will purchase that book if you think it will help me.

Yes it will change your perspective on some things


1 More Response