It's Not About Being In just Any Relationship... But the right 1
See there was this girl who I had such a connection with that I just couldn't understand how this was even possible... I mean we really do think alike in every-way!
In fact after knowing her for only a month and a half... I asked her this very question... "Out of everybody whom you have known in your whole entire life, all of your sorority sisters in college , your mother , father , relatives, heck even the ex boyfriend who dated you for 2years and got on his knees to propose to you in which you turn him down... Who knows you better than anybody?"
And she said to me, "You do, you know me better than anybody" Only problem is I had completely no Idea that she was in love with my older brother ... My older brother however turned her down although I'm not sure if it was because me or that he really didn't like her.
Kinda sucks but ever since that happened we never talked to each other again, and she lives 4hours away now, So I don't bother.
A lot of my relationship I somehow find myself to end up with a girl who really does accept me for who I am and cares and have strong feelings about me... the only thing that's missing from the girl is that she isn't very understanding... and so there she is dragging me to help her care about the dumbest things in life. I just feel such a sense of emptiness in the relationship that I end up saying to myself "WHY oh Why did I ever get into this relationship in the 1st place?" I would then turn my back and walk away, because I couldn't put up with it anymore... I just felt that the relationship wasn't fair... she was able to care so much about me and there I am not being able to express back the feelings and love to her... and that right there just made me feel terrible in the inside.
This happened exactly the same way to three different girls in whom I have dated in my past relationship.
I've been single for more than 2years now and I can't even believe that it has been this long!... I didn't want to make the same mistake that I have been doing in my past relationship... I guess I though as long as I don't date anybody then I won't be able to break anybody's heart by turning my back and walking away.
The girl that I met that I had such a connection with who was in love with my older brother, I met her 2years ago... after her, that's when I became spiritual and began my journey to find myself.
I'm glad for everything that happened now, because I was able to learn so much about myself that I never knew... What I really do look for in a girl is for her to be able to understand as much as I do and so therefore she has to have a great deal of respect and undertstanding about herself then I would have no reason to leave because she's pratically my equal in everything.