It Hurts To Feel...

I wish I didn't feel so much too... I would cry bucketsful after reading stories about children being abused or animals being hurt, I try hard not to care but damn it... I just can't help it!!  When I was a child the adults would call them 'crocodile tears' because my eyes would well up with tears if I was told off or laughed at...I think they said that because tears came easily to me and they didnt believe I was genuinely sad...

I'm in a new relationship now, my ex and I are still friends but we lost the love we had for each other - we raised 4 wonderful kids though and they mean the world to me... anyway, my new man tells me he loves me but he stays 'closed' emotionally I think... we don't share a lot with each other like we should... he lives with me but doesnt share the cost of rent, power, phone etc because he doesnt earn enough to help me out...

Sometimes me and my new man can go a whole day without saying anythng to each other... I try to bottle my feelings up because I'm such a sook... if I keep myself busy and stop thinking thoughts in my head i can usually get by ok but hey... there's a lot of other stuff I could put my mind onto isnt there... like my kids..but even then I get damned emotional about them too... my daughter helps me out with bills, my son compliments me on the meals I cook, my boys overseas call me to chat and fill me in on how they're doing... its enough to make a grown woman cry bucketsful ;-) 

truthseekr truthseekr
56-60, F
Mar 11, 2010