The Weight Keeps On Getting Bigger and So Does My Depression

I'm 16 years old. I haven't always been fat, I used to be pretty lanky for my age. At the age of 10 I started to get fat. I have many things I could blame it on but I'm going to be honest for once and not do that.

I don't eat that much, i know I eat more than Is hould on occasion but I'm not a complete glutton. I don't exercise though. I tell myself, "Today you will." I don't. 

Sometimes I think about starving myself, but I'm a failure so i can't do that either. I'm 320 pounds. I'm fat fat fat. I don't know what to do. My mom talked about surgery but I don't know. I know I need help but can't do it.

 

I just want to be skinny and beautiful. I just want people to like me as much as they like the skinny people around me.

SuzieQZ SuzieQZ
18-21, F
11 Responses Mar 13, 2009

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hey mann, first of all you're absolutely beautiful!! you eyes are so gorgeous in your picture x333. and second of all, if you're never excersized i know it can be really challenging, and it may take a long long time to work up the courage to do it. don't worry about it, start by doing something you know, and for a little bit of time, say to yourself today i will go outside for five minuets, and walk around, nothing more. don't let yourself make it seem intimidating, not like a giant 4 hour work out with dumbells barbells strange weight machines and confusing routines. start easy. i know my comment is alot difernt from alot of other people's because i won't say to you to bring your self esteem up, i know personally i won't feel good until i get skinny too so there's no point in fixing that if the self esteem is stemmed from the way you feel. i've heard it over and over again that it's on the inside that counts (coming from my skinny friends OTl;;) There are lots of resources on the internet, use it! there's tons of ways to get started and even beginner's guides to weight loss and excersizing that take you a step at a time, about things you should know like how excersizes works and what you should know. there is still time to reverse it, atleast you don't weigh 500lbs, let's make this weight right now your peak weight and start loosing 8)) and im so proud of you for not blaming it on other things this time, there's some things you can't controll like genetics or a sedentary childhood, so the only thing you can do is move on and start thinking of ways you can help yourself as of right now. Remember, the more impossible it seems at the moment, the more glory you'll feel! who care if she's skinny but she's been skinny all her life because of her high metabolism or nice parents who watch her weight FOR he? you freaking worked hard for your skinny body, and you'll be the epitome of awesome!

give yourself a goal <br />
i know how you feel<br />
i was fat and depressed and wished i wasn't but i started walking once a week it became habit eventually so i started walking on other days too after a while i was walking every afternoon it didn't reallly seem to impact my weight at all but feeling that i was doing something really helped my depression<br />
but be warned its hard when you get started and it can take a long time but take my advice it really works <br />
good luck<br />
P.S don't lose weight because your family and freinds make you feel like you should lose weight because you want to

I am horrified for both Suz and notthesame: that your family would call you fat and ugly is reprehensible, abhorable, its just flat disturbing. no wonder you suffer depression. I personally have never been fat, or even more than skinny (its my genes, and I feel blessed for that) BUT I also suffer severe depression. often, my body makes it worse... people dont want to see the soul inside, only the transient shell that houses it. If you dont want to be overweight, by all means make that a goal. But I believe that your best road to acheiving that goal is to focus on abolishing your depression. The depression is likely the culprit for why you dont exercise. If you can tame it enough (the depression) to start exercising, the exercise will contribute to helping your depression. Its a big ole wheel: getting it moving is the hard part (sometimes you gotta push hard and long) but once its rolling, the momentum helps it keep rolling....

I know what you mean. Im 14 and weigh 216. It really sucks when you have a sister one year older that wears a size 0 and U wear a size 18. Sometimes my family calls me fat and uguly too. It hurts and I've been depressed too but Im working on me. But I still have friends and they love me so keep holding on! Good Luck!

I'm not sure about 'gaining self esteem first'. I would honestly give anything to be thin and beautiful. All my friends who are skinny seem to be really popular and let me tell you this much it's not because they have great personalities or good attitudes. They've just been blessed with a high metabolism.

jordan is right build your self esteem first. I got skinny and i still hated life and myself. and then i spent years in and out of hospitals.

I understand how you feel, I have been there, Or you could say I am still there! I always feel that others would like me if I wasn't fat! Diets dont work for me! I joined curves to lose weight but gave up on it. I tried weight watchers and it worked but I quit that too! I am terrified of surgery so I wont do that. So I have learned to deal with my imperfections and after a long battle with my image, I have began to accept what I look like and if others dont like it, I dont have to let it bother me. <br />
<br />
Honestly though, I would not consider the surgery until you at least try a weight loss program and exercising! Most doctors require a certain amount of weight loss for the surgery anyways and if you can lose the required amount for surgery, then I think you should just keep up the work so that you wont need to have the surgery.

I used to do a lot of internet chatting. I found that most people would love talking to me and then they would ask what I would look like and I would tell them and they would become disgusted. <br />
<br />
I may not be a great person but I think i have a decent personality, I'm adequately smart, well read, I have been told I'm very witty. I think the only thing I'm missing is the self esteem and looks. <br />
<br />
my attitude isn't great but it used to be. After awhile of being called fat and ugly even by my family I gave up on trying to be nice.

hey...there...the first thing that you should do is build your self a steem....i mean you should want to loose the weight foe you not anybody else...i mean your living your life not anyboby elses....and being skinny doesnt always make you beautiful...being beautiful starts in side of you...your personality is what draws peoples attention first..you can the prettiest thing walking...with lthe best body and everything....but if your attitude is ugly..then so are you.....think about it.......**army has my heart**