"If I could be you, and you could be me, wouldn't you rather be you?"
I've lived most my life wishing I was someone else. My mother has mental and physically abused me over the years. My whole family has treated me like the outcasted step child. I've never really cared much, being alone isn't a problem for me. I only wish someone could understand exactly what I've gone through. I don't look for any sympathy, nor anyone to tell me their sorry. I simple want people to stop looking at me like I'm crazy.
I could write a book on the **** I've been through. Though no one would read it, I'm sure. It's not the most interesting, or the most painful. I know people who have been through much worse than I. I try not to compare pain with anyone, just want to tell my story. Just want someone to read it, and feel a little less alone.
If I could be anyone, I wouldn't want to be any person. I would want to be my cat, Indow. To be able to lie around the house, doing nothing. To be able to just curl up in a ball, and hide from the world. To never have to deal with people. I'm not much of a "face to face" people person. I just get so jealous watching her sleep on my couch, with no worries in the world. I wonder sometimes what's going through her head. I wonder if she worries about anything. If maybe she has problems, other than avoiding the dogs. I would love to get into her head, if only for a day.