Feel Me Deeply

ever since i was a kid im always alone. i don't mind until now. i tried my best to earn friends but ended up being left alone to suffer. then i said to my self "lets try a different approach". then i act like my self. i felt happy but as time passes i have noticed that everyone is drifting apart. i felt im alone more than ever. no one to tell my feelings for i am afraid of their reaction. afraid that they will give me criticism instead of love. iwish i can leap on someone's arms and cry there. but still im just a loner.

even if someone tries to ask me whats wrong i try my best to hide it for i think they won't understand for they didn't experience to be alone on half of their life. i hate people who keeps shouting at everyone that he/she is a friend of mine because i can feel that they will left me when im in need and will only use me. i hate that feeling yet im feeling it. i hate being alone but i feel im alone more than ever.

pls don't give criticisms it will only hurt me. I need love not a lecture.
Jp696 Jp696
18-21, M
6 Responses Aug 17, 2010

me too actually. then about 15 minutes ago, i decided not to care anymore. i care about alot really but its too dang much, i give up. this is easy. for me anyways

I understand. I was alone through high school. I was pretty though so no picked on me. I never did have friends. I had acquantances. I still don't have friends i can tell anything to. Be my friend. You can tell me anything. I won't judge you. Sometimes our brains won't stop!!!

i have a bad bad fear of abandonment and loneliness.I'm only 14 and i cant stand to be away from the people i love and if im left alone to long i began to weep so hard my body aches..and i have to call a friend on mine to calm me down.i know what you feel and i know it sucks....

i'm there with you... i fight that feeling of lonelyness everyday.. i throw myself into my job to try to cover up that feeling of self hate..I do my job well, i hide in it making it my life. but at the end of the day, i''m a great friend always there at a calls whim. always there for a falling tear, ready to dive in at any moment .... but i have noone i can talk to. everyone wants to get/give advice, but sometimes its just someone to listen to what you need to say.. i know there is a better way of living, but i'm not there yet either. buut it has to get better. it cant be like forever...it cant...

At 17 learn to be a leader, and a follower. A leader does not tell their trouble to no one except the best friend. A follower volunteers to do stuff for groups, like church, school, clubs, without pay or reward. What you get is knowledge, experience and believe or not friends that trust you for help. I told my son to go to cub scout, boy scout, church counselor, and soon after he became a Marine.<br />
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Good luck for the future, cause it starts now, all alone, like millions of people.

I know how you feel i spent most of my life that way always alone whether I wanted it or not no one could understand me failed relationship after failed relationship because as soon as I started to let them in they ran for the door. AT 29yo I have finally found some one like me! Don"t give up hope!