One of the most unattractive qualities in people is being too selfish and self absorbed to understand others or see things from a more objective and realistic perspective. Being so involved in one's own thoughts and feelings is masturbatory. It leaves no room for an intellectual consideration of others' thoughts and feelings. And yet, we are all inherently selfish and self serving. It's just nature, and we her grateful servants have no say in the rightness of her laws or whether or not we abide by them. Thus we are all mortal selfish creatures more similar to the rest of the animal kingdom than we are different.

Despite this, we all still have this desire to rise above, to be better, and to obliterate ignorance. We want to understand what goes on in the minds of our fellow law abiders...sometimes. For me this desire has, for unknown reasons, become quite clear as of late. When I find myself thinking about me, what I want, how I'm not recieving the attention and praise and help that I deserve, and all the various ways by which others are flawed, I realize how unattractive it is, how I don't want to think things like that, how I would judge someone else as completely self absorbed and emotionally immature if I could somehow know that their way of thinking was similar to my own. I don't know that it's not, but I do know that I want to be better than that.

I want to be able to see and understand the impact of reality not on my own self (which is inevitable), but on others (which is not an innate ability but rather a skill that is honed I think). It has nothing to do with how much I care about people and want to understand them because I love them so (I don't). It is only because I want to be a better and wiser person. My desire to understand reality as fully and clearly as I possibly can is the reason behind it. I realize that as long as I am stuck in a state of self centeredness that I will be limited in the scope of my understanding.

Thus, when I find myself lamenting all that I do not have (which is not really anything important at all), I also lately find myself telling myself to grow up and stop being so self absorbed. It's unattractive, not only to others but to myself.
shannonymous shannonymous
18-21, F
1 Response Sep 1, 2014

Good food for thought... thanks for sharing.

thanks for reading and commenting

It resonated with something I was thinking about on and off for a while, but I don't know if I can add anything until I chew on your words for a while and let them digest.... and, you are welcome.