Lifelong Regrets And What If's

I am a very talented advertising photographer, some say the best in town, others say I should be in a bigger market like chicago. I went to brooks institute and was offered internships with some of the best studios in Los angeles, internships I didn't even apply for. I managef to get through college scraping along, working full time and with help from my mother. I had it all going for me but for one thing (or so I thought), I was lonely.

I met a woman through a friend and started a long distance relationship. I fell in love and we got engaged.

As I got nearer to graduation I became more and more excited to get back to nashville. the photographer I had worked with before I left for school promised to bring me on board to eventually have me take over the studio once he retired.

My fiance had been offered her dream job in minneapolis and said she couldn't do a long term relationship anymore, that I would have to move with her to Minnesota or we would have to break up. Me being the insecure love sick fool that I was went with her .

everything I was died that day, now after 13 years of being a stay at home dad and three years of trying to scrap together a living in this economy, I still have nothing. many times I cant even afford the gas to go vist my kids. I'm 50 years old and cannot afford the basic equipment I need to get started. I will die deep in debt, probably never making more than 30,000 a year if I'm lucky. I would rather have no talent and be a failure, it surely would be less painful
groupf64 groupf64
3 Responses Dec 5, 2012

Any happy updates?

I meant to say at the end of my first para. "You are not alone in your feelings or concerns."

My Friend,

Start where you stand.

Every adult person on this Earth lives with regrets, debts of one kind or another, fears of mediocrity, and will most assuredly have things left in his/her "inbox" on the day death comes. You are not in your feelings or concerns.

No matter how you feel, there is always more right with you than wrong.

You cannot undo what you've done nor is it ever helpful to second-guess decisions you made in the past. All you can do is start where you stand right now.

So, what can you do now? That is the only question that matters.

As you find your own answers remember to start with micro-movements, remember to find a few moments each day to simply be grateful for some things, and invest your time & efforts in building a support network for yourself.

Google the following by Virginia Satir and read it every morning and evening: "I Am Me".

Best Wishes,