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I Am Alone

  I'm sick of feeling not good enough, not pretty enough. I'm sick to death of being the best of friends, but never more. It just makes me want to be dead. I don't understand why I can't have what others have found. I am alone, in pain, & have no one to share anything with, good or bad. So why am I staying on this earth? Why should I stay here if I'm always alone? Never good enough for a lifetime love, just used & discarded like garbage?............

Good night everyone. I'm just too tired to keep the front up. Good night!

Wynhaven Wynhaven 36-40, F 17 Responses Aug 17, 2009

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I am alone too. I've been all my life so repulsive to women that at 60 I'm still a virgin. I want so much the closeness & contact that I see others enjoying. I feel like a damned soul, eternally craving but never having. I tried suicide twice but can't even get that right. I hope very much you don't bear your lonliness as long as I have.

it gets tiring to show people you're happy when deep inside you just want to sit down and cry. i know how you feel. i'm very frustrated with my life. i'm all alone too, there's no one to share anything with. i will disappear one day, no one will ever notice.

I am in a situation which is borderline catastrophic. For many years I had your same concerns although I'm guy. I would just like to say that there are some of us out there who value friends more than to even place a rating of "best" or "worst" on a friendship. A friend is just that: a friend. Real friends dont categorize you. The'rew just there for you always. And you for them. Always. I'm here and in need of a friend. If you need one please contact me. PS: physical "beauty" is a subjective thing which most of us have difficulty assessing since we are brought up to see things a certain way. There is someone out there for you. You just haven't met him/her yet. Meanwhile, like I wrote before, If I can be of help to you I can probably help myself with a few unearned blessings. Best of luck and keep your chin up. God made you and He knows best. MikeP

Everyone on this planet has a chance for love if they look in the right place, but it sucks like hell if we are obligated to live in one place. Good luck at things of current relativeity. And much love. :)

I know how you feel and it's a feeling I thought would go away eventually, or someone would come along and change things, but it's been this way for too long and there's still no one. I know I'm young, and the young and lonely always get dismissed because "you have so many years ahead of you for all that" - so what? I'm still human, I still feel it...

I am feeling better today my loveys. Thank you all for your support.

Ennuye - I actually am in therapy. Unfortunately because I do not drive (long story), I have to rely on my grandfather to drive me the hour to my appointments. Because of this I do not go half as often as I believe I need to. This is just me not wanting to be a burden, & watching the way mom reacts when I have another appointment for a doctor or therapist. : ( So thank you for your advice, I am doing what I can with what I have available to me. : (

There is some wise advice for you, in those understanding comments, ennuye's particularly and thoughtful - and maybe especially meaningful as they come from someone who does not know you and has had hands on experience.



I know how you feel. I had to toil on entirely alone and with no expectation that this would ever change, for years. Unfortunately, the damage this causes cannot be entirely expunged, but you should not assume that things will carry on, just as they are. It's hard when everyone else seems to find happiness but you. As BSF says, you should not assume that you are to blame.



Like the others who have commented, I'm always here for you.

Hey sweetie, I don't like you for your mask.



I like you for the person that you hide beneath it.



You're not the one who isn't good enough, they are.



You have my im hun. It's on even when I'm not here.

Hi DreamHaven, I do not know you, but found your story while roaming around reading others. And just wanted to let you is that I can understand and relate as I have felt and been in the same situation as you, feeling unloved, uncared for, unnoticed and taken for granted and used up. But hang in there and I see you have many friends that care.....and I want you to know that if you ever need a new friend I am here *hugs* take care ....tw

I am trying. Thank you for your advice.

I've taken some hits, and they are still coming. The best advice I've gotten, I think, is never, ever give up.

Thank you all.... Im - I never doubt your word honey. I love you & thank you for being there.

CJ - Thank you as well. You are a sweetheart.

My knight - I am afraid the hammock will not work tonight my sweetie, but I will be around tomorrow. Not strong enough to do myself in either. There is no fear just pain. xoxo

Dream, Have been there and the travel back is long and difficult.



So I understand where you are coming from.



We will talk again, for now just rest in the hammock.

Dreamhaven my friend if there is anything I could do just let me know...........

I love you no matter what you're going through, I hope you know that when I said I was here for you, I meant it. I don't care what it is that is eating at you. I'm here for you. *hugs*

Thanks sweetie. I have to stay strong because my mom is still up. I don't have the freedom to be 'emotional'. But thank you for the offer. I'm just not strong enough tonight. xoxo

Dreamhaven... I want you to know that I understand how you are feeling... I feel the same way... I want you to know that you can pm...and I'll listen...just like you did for me.. Hugs and Love T