Life Blah Blah Blah...

Sometimes i care so little that it feels like to much effort to even complain about how much i hate, well everything.  I am becoming ever increasingly misanthropic and therefore have grown more and more reclusive.  people as a species are petty, cowardly, ignorant beasts with little heart or stomach for leadership for lack of a  more appropriate term.  Everyone is a sheep who thinks they are a wolf, well wolves make decisions and think for themselves, sheep would rather be dictated to so that if anything goes awry they can pass the blame on top another.  it is more responsablity than most want to even be full responsible for their own lives, thus they turn to government agencies to 'outsource' their responsabilites.  Oh please save me from terrorists, drugs, prostitution, etc.  Scared sheep running to a metaphorical father for protection from enemies with no form or substance, to protect us from things that can never be defeated, things taht are actually inherently part of the human experience.  There has been drugs and prositution of one form or another since before recorded history, and the same with terrorism.  terrorism for those who think it is something arabs do, is in actuality the way the poor fight the rich, the way they still fight in Ireland, the way the US fought and defeated england, you cannot stamp out the fighting tactics of the poor, and for the american public to buy that load of crap shows the ignorance of all of these sheep i live among.  Why save myself when there is nothing redeeming to come from the petty sad little creatures that my dna hails from.  All people are ignorant, but most are willfully so, and by that i mean that even when you show them the truth they still choose to believe the propaganda that they have been fed, sheep dont like change.  A large group of the public still believe taht Iraq had or was on the verge of having wmd, hell many still think sadam had ties to bin laden, the damn president came out and said that this information was not true, but the propaganda was so deep that the willfully ignorant didnt even acknowledge that information.

And if i hear anymore about god i may be sick, There is no loving compassionate god, one has only to look at the plight of many of the children in Africa or North Korea to see taht no compassionate god could exist with the amount of suffering these poor innocent children must endure.  Maybe his plan is too great for me to grasp, but anyone who would allow children to suffer in the horrendous ways that these children do has no plan i wish to be a part of, and is someone who i would never want to meet, they would in fact disgust me, god or not.

This world is ****, all of the people in it, including me, are ****, and there is absolutely not enough redeeming for any of it to be worth fighting for.  But it hardly feels worth complaining about anymore, noone really wants a change when they have 50" plasma and a new car in the garage, even if the entire nation is deteriorating around them, they trick themselves into saying it is all still fine because look at all my cool stuff. 

But everyone feels like they have it tough, noone thinks their life is easy and everyone feels taht they struggle, well if you are a middle class american you didnt, ever, even in family deaths, even if you had  a horrible experience like being robbed raped or shot, as bad as that is, it wuold be an isolated incident and cannot hold a candle to the ongoing daily atrocities taht happen in the rest of the world.  That means that really my life has been cake, and it has, and yet i still hate everything and feel overwhelmed by the world.  15 years of therapy and every antidepressant and mood stabilizer known to man later and i am worse off than i was when i started the mental health process.  Mental health 'science' is more closely related to alchemy than actual legitimate science, these quacks have little to no understanding of brain functionality and yet presume to play around with its mental 'settings' by artificially altering brain chemistry, but not in any real scientific fashion, more like a trial and error process, not disimilar from alchemy. real science needs objective verifiable results, in mental health the results are more subjective, harder to quantify, and dont need as a high of a success rate to become a viable treatment as things in real medicine do.



Seriously it is all such a sham and a crock to keep the blinders on people, and people love their blinders and will fight to keep them on even as they are being torn from their face.  Well i hate people, i hate the system, i hate mankind and its actions and deceptions, and i hate myself for knowing im a part of this and feeling too impetant to step up and do anything, not that i would even know where to start.

MikeMathews3030 MikeMathews3030
31-35, M
Feb 12, 2010