We Should Have

We realize now that WE SHOULD HAVE started our life together so many years ago.

We even had the plan; since I was closer to finishing my degree; I would finish while he worked and provided for us. Upon graduation, I would find a job and work and support us while he went back to school. It was feasible but we did not have family who would support us. We knew that we would have had to do this alone and we were just not ready to make such a big commitment though it meant our very lives!!!

I remember thinking of him, dreaming of him ALL THOSE YEARS while married to two other men. I committed "emotional adultery" on them while betraying our love. I wrote him a love song. My friends told me "You are still in love with him" and one dear friend said "I can see (envision) the two of you being together again". That statement of faith brought me so much hope; it helped me to hang onto our love until we could be together again. 

I had wished that we had never broken up. It was mutual but he kept coming back to reconcile and I couldn't do it. I was already involved with my first husband and felt that my First Love had betrayed me, one time too many, to allow reconciliation without a true solution to the issues that tore us apart. 

Yes, I could only imagine how our lives would be SO MUCH DIFFERENT if I had run away with him;
  1. we could have children of our own instead of none.
  2. we could even have grandchildren right now..
  3. I might have gone into a different profession and possibly gotten an advanced degree
  4. he would have become the professional in medicine that he had dreamed of 
  5. we both would have continued in our love of music and songwriting...together. 
  6. we both might have had to disown our families to do it; we should have!
Yes, I wish that I would have run away with my First Love...

and if I were given the chance again,

I would do it.
Missalaineyeus Missalaineyeus
46-50, F
3 Responses May 7, 2012

Life has given you a golden opportunity. Most people can only dream of what might have been, you have a chance to make it real. Focus on the present and what you two have now, no regrets about what was missed, be as happy as you can be now and tghe rest will be perfect.

Don't WE know it!!! It was NOT luck nor "kismet" but the desire of two hearts to be together. We do regret that we did not run away together; but we realize that what is true, is NEVER truly lost.

Yes, hon, I returned to him about a year ago...It was a hard choice that I HAD to make; I would not go on living life without him...Check out my story in this group: EP Link:http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Married-My-First-Love/2085065<br />
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Thanks for reading and replying. It is a wonderful story.<br />
Love and peace,<br />
Miss A.

Wow. Do you think you will ever see him again? It's so fascinating the choices we make in our life. Sometimes the hardest choices...the ones that seem impossible are the ones we should take. Yet at the time logical thinking prevails and sometimes...that logic should have a conversation with the heart too. I really enjoyed this story and can certainly walk away learning something. I appreciate you sharing. In the back of my mind I hope you guys will get together again, as it will be that more treasured.