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My Kids Are Making Me Depressed !

i have a 1 and 2 year old i'm a stay at home mom with a husband who is a workaholic and doesn't think help him out enough
i was sexually abused and necleted by my dad from 7 - 12 then my mom got married after she left my dad and my stepdad had a metal disorder and he would beat me when i disrespected him i can't spell that good i didn't start school until i was 8 didn't learn how to read until i was like 10 or 11 since my dad took my virginity make me sick jus to write it i had low self worth and had sex with the first guy that
showed me some attention every guy that showed me some attention i would like them i slept with 3 guys in one
month when i was 16 i got pregnant at 18 if i would have never gotten pregnant i would have a std or been a ******** or something
now i am married to the father and now with two kidi don't have anyone i can really call my friend and as a child we moved around alot cuz we were poor and couldn't afford rent i never wanted to have kids cuz all the crap my parents put us through i feel like my kids get in the way there are things that i need to work on as a person and i don't have the mind to handle it i know its not there fault i'm lost and i wish i could have found my self instead of ******* around with guys plus i think i have a sex addiction and the guys that i messed with i didn't even love them except for the one i'm with now i was never in a serious relationship before him and he has problems as well anger issues but he was sexually abused by his uncle
i haven't accomplished anything i got pregnant my junior year and was to sick to finish senior year tried to get my ged got sick and pregnant and was on bedrest i can't drive no one will ******* teach me my husband doesn't have time too my ****** up parents live in another state which is what i wanted i jus wanted to get away from them all my sisters live in the same state as them i don't know what to don't i jus hate my life and my kids don;t need to be with a messed up mother sometimes i think i would be better off dead cuz i'm worth nothing and i can never do anything right
danae417 danae417 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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How are you doing now? I truly hope things are better for you.

Hey danae, sounds like you have had a horrific life. I hope you wont think badly for me saying this but I really think you should put your kids into foster care or have them adopted so that you can concentrate on yourself. You probably ned yeard of therapy to get over what you have been through. If you are carryiong all this baggaga with the best wil in the world you are never going to bring up well-adjusted kids.<br />
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I hope you find the means to get the help you need.