Don't Know That I Regret Having Kids Because There's So Much Love But Aaahhhh!!!! I Hate It Most Of The Time.

I always knew I wanted kids but I think more for selfish reasons...passing on my excellent genetic material! hehe I don't think anyone could have talked me out of it but as soon as I got the first one home from the hospital I knew things had changed forever, and for the worse. No longer could I just pick up and go to the grocery store, no longer could I pick up and do ANYTHING!!!! My kids are now 6 and 8 and they are so sweet and beautiful, truly wonderful creatures, but their incessant whining, fighting (at least they get along pretty good for siblings) and mess-making along with the NEVER-ENDING demands for food or to tie their shoes or whatever makes me truly miserable. Oh, and I should have mentioned the utter chaos I must live with constantly and the constant money drain. I hate the sounds of kids even when they're happy because it just causes me stress wondering what mess they're making or when the next crisis will arise. I am 43 and going back to school to be a Physician Assistant and I also work as a CNA in a nursing home. I get my share of taking care of people. Not to mention I'm a professional musician who must balance gigs, too, off and on. I'd love to workout regularly, I love to cook and garden, I love some freaking PEACE AND QUIET!!! I'm divorced so it's me 100% when I have them, FORTUNATELY their daddy is very involved so I do get time off. I seriously pity the TRUE single moms out there and how they stay sane is a mystery (when they manage it), no one should have to live that life. ****** me off when single moms don't make the baby daddies help take care of THEIR least to get child support. ****** me off how many men get off scot-free. Ever wonder why some men with kids are workaholics? Well a HUGE reason probably is that being at work is a HELL of a lot easier than being home with kids. I used to think stay-at-home moms stayed at home because they were just too lazy to work! HA!!! I know better now!!! I yell a lot at my kids, I just hate it most of the time, but, again, I think I will be very glad one day that I did have them. Just god forbid they become drug addicts or lazy deadbeats who won't finish college or get a job!!! Therefore I do the best I can to not to screw them up since that will only make my motherhood situation more unbearable. And YES I do speak up about the realities of parenthood but I wouldn't dare say in polite company that sometimes I HATE being a mom!!! Although it's probably pretty obvious sometimes. I am glad this page is here. More power to all of you, this site helps us all. Peace.
kep308 kep308
41-45, F
6 Responses Nov 27, 2012

I'm the original post-er and let me just say, my kids are 9 and almost 11 now and it's still hard but it's WAAAY easier. I can almost say I love being a mom. Hang in there, it's gets easier!! But, yeah, the teenage years are approaching!! :)

Right there with you! As an older mom, I know what needs to be done and I do it but I long for the days when I could just take care of me. My kids both have ADHD and that makes it challenging but they are good kids. I'm just keep hoping I will turn a corner and find the magic solution so I can love being a mom again.

I totally agree with all of you. I feel the same way sometimes. Especially when my husband comes home from work he would usually just sit down and try to relax or go on his phone. I would feel guilty trying to just dump the little cuties on him but we mommies just need a few minutes break sometimes. (okay maybe more than a few minutes lol) But really, it's really tough and I know a lot of mommies are struggling trying to get through the day every day with the daily routines they have for the kids, for them. It can be chaotic sometimes but honestly, it will pay us in the future so we just have to hang in there! :)

Thought I was the only one who felt like that. I hate it. My husband helps, but then I just feel guilty as he works full time and then comes home and ends up not being able to just relax as he is dealing with them. I was too wondering if this could be depression.

Wow, I feel the exact same way. I feel really guilty about it. I truly love my kids, I really do but I'm miserable all the time.. "Mommy mommy mommy!" I can't even pee with the door closed. My husband works insane hours, doesn't get how stressed I am. When e is home he just sits there.. I have to ask him to discipline the kids and what not. I'm over it all. I daydream of how I used to be without all this stress and kids along with a husband. I feel guilty admitting this but it's the truth. I'm glad I'm nothr e only one feeling this. Can this be depression?

Thank you. I know exactly how you feel. And apparently we are a rare breed!? How the **** do other women do it? I just see my life being sucked away. And like you my kids are so sweet. And still I hate being a mum. When my son was a baby and I used to take him out in his pram I used to wonder if people would think i was his nanny/babysitter and not his mum. I so didn't want to be identified as a mother. Hang in there. Quite frankly I don't know what options we have! Like you I don't want to mess my kids up do I hang in day by day but god I am horrid to them sometimes. Huge respect to you. I hope you find some peace with it all x