This response is for all the posters here in this section. I googled 'what to do when you wish you were childless', looking for some advice on how to deal with fleeting bouts of anxiety, and it worked instantly, reading through these posts has quickly dissipated any and all regrets I was having when I heard how selfish and narcissistic so many of them are. I'm new here, so I might get a LOT of **** for being honest enough to say what most people reading these posts are thinking, but please, hear me out, this isn't an attack, it's a different perspective. I get that having children isn't for everyone. I get that many people realize they've made a mistake and wish they could change it. Children are time consuming, expensive, and eventually turn into hormonal teenagers. My mother was one of those that hated children, and still does. She didn't give up her life to raise us, she kept right on partying and living it up long after I left at 14. She was a narcissistic, selfish, perfectionistic *******, and wanted the children she had to be perfect little Ralph Lauren children, and anything less than that was embarrassing to her. Basically, she was immature, and inconvenienced by things like responsibility, nurturing another living creature, sacrifice. Any sacrifice at all to her was too much, because in her world, she was all that mattered. Because of this, she was abusive, physically, mentally, verbally, psychologically. I finally realized when I had children of my own that many of these feelings were semi-normal, even good parents have feelings of lost youth and activities they feel they don't have time for anymore, but not everyone dwells on the difficulties of having to figure out how to balance the task of keeping themselves nurtured with the task of nurturing others, such as I see people doing here, or as much as my mother did. I am a single mother of two, in university full time with a POS ex who is more interested in finding the next thing than being there for his children. So I understand busy, I understand overwhelmed, but I have never felt as overwhelmed by parenthood as these posts express, even with ptsd and major depressive disorder. The reason I say this is not to be superior, I'm struggling everyday, but to point out how out of proportion the feelings of hopelessness and sorrow are to the situation. Please get help asap, folks! I have no family support either, but my being busy doesn't mean I've lost me?!!!! That's just an excuse. It's lazy. It's immature. It's sad. Yes, having children is awful if you already made the mistake of having them and only realized too late that you weren't ready, but if you're a decent human being, you suck it up and go cry in the closet when you need to lament your lost youth and all that you gave up, and then get on with it. Your kids NEED you to figure it out, because this thread illustrated exactly why we have mass shootings on the rise, riots in the streets, drugs everywhere, me, me, me, me, me... ****** up parents breed ****** up kids. Neglect begets neglect. Grow. the. ****. up. If your kids, or other people's kids, or all kids, annoy the **** out of you, it's because you're still a child yourself. And that's okay if you don't have or want kids. It really is. But after you already have them? You had better figure out a way, because your lack of enthusiasm and loads of regret WILL **** their minds up. If you really just can't muster the strength and integrity to be loving, nurturing, and emotionally available, then opt out, pronto. However you must. This is authentic, this is supportive, and this is respectful. There's plenty of other comments already saying it's brave to share these feelings, and that is true, it takes guts to say this isn't working for me, I'm miserable, I'm not ready, etc. I have compassion for every single one of you, but my thoughts stand firm. Figure it out or opt out. The world is ****** up enough as it is.
getafuckinggrip getafuckinggrip
36-40, F
Sep 2, 2014