I Used It....

I stayed in bed, smoked pot, drank, took the dog to the park alll day.. anything I could to pass the time, thinking one day it'll be easier, one day I'll have forgotten everything that went before.. but that wasn't the way to get over my past..  It just meant that I wasted my life, n now I'm over 30 with no history, no skills and apparently no prospects at all of leading a fulfilling life.

I really needed to seize the day and get on with life, but I always believed I needed something I didn't have.. usually money, but I never got any, because I gave up trying.. I dunno if I would have succeeded, I mean, I gave up because my efforts were fruitless for so long..  but I think inside I gave up on life when I was still only a small child, so to get motivation back, I dunno if I could have done that alone anyway. It's a hard habit to break.. this living suicide.

sorry it's not my usual positive story, but hey.. don't do what I did kids! >.<

TheLuckyHobo TheLuckyHobo
31-35, M
2 Responses Dec 30, 2010

aw, thank you S.E. I am soo glad just to know I have a friend who believes in me! *hugs back* =)

*hugs* :/<br />
I probably started this behaviour when I was 8 or 9 I think.. just wanted to go to sleep until things changed... but things don't change on their own.. you have to effect positive change yourself, no matter how "not up to it" you feel. A friend can help you with motivation, but ultimately all the effort will be yours. <br />
Remember too that success is the best (and most noble) form of revenge. =)