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I Really Wish They Would

There are so many beautiful women in the world and so many don't see that in themselves. It seems to be a steadily growing epidemic and it's heartbreaking. There are men too that don't love themselves. I know because I was one of them. Maybe the world would be a better place if we learn to love ourselves first.
Tummie Tummie 26-30, M 28 Responses Jul 27, 2010

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Very true. It is now becoming a very rare and sad thing that only a few people are actually confident about their looks and accept themselves. I remember a couple of years ago talking with my aunt about my self-esteem issues and her asking me "Tell me five things you like about yourself." I couldn't even tell her one. She was heartbroken and shocked. But I didn't understand why she was so sad because it was pretty much the norm to me, all people I was friends with had low self-esteem and so did I, so it never really clicked in my head how big of a deal it was...until I met a girl in college who had thr worst self-esteem I had ever seen in a person. I felt really bad for her, she would criticize herself a lot and talk about all these surgeries she would want done in the future to look better. It was terrible. That's when I realized how my aunt felt when she was talking to me and I decided I wanted to improve on my self-esteem and learn to love myself.

Yeah it is sad that these days people are loving themselves less but its real good to have a family member that will help turn that around, especially given what you see in a lot of media.

Yeah, I really blame the media for all this. They tell you their standards on who is considered "beautiful" or "attractive" and if someone doesn't fit that standard, they think "wow I'm hideous then. I don't look like that so i must not be attractive."

great post :)

Thank you bubblegum :) Love is indeed a gift and is very attractive!

Glad to be back again. I've missed this place. Hope you are well also! And to all the women here(and guys) - Love yourself first and everyone will love you. Love attracts love and love is gift!

Thank you modestbeauti :) And you're exactly right

I too wish that everyone would stop comparing themselves to others and just start loving themselves for their uniqueness. We are all different and beautiful in our own ways.

Thank you bubblegum84! Nice to hear from you again and yes, it is very difficult but the struggle to overcome it is very worth it :)

I think we learn to accept ourselves and from there on love ourselves and become our own best friend. Its very hard to love yourself if you've had many put downs in life though, something I am working to get over. I try to think of at least something everyday that I like about myself no matter how hard.

Thank you datura, for the comment and most importantly for being my friend :)

Tummie, you have wisdom way beyond your years. I am so proud of you for the realizations you have achieved.

LOL Yes! It is compliment indeed! :)

No, I don't think you have an ugly inside Marji. You've revealed yourself here enough to show that deep down inside, there is a beautiful person.

(((((((WondersBeyondOurGalaxy)))))))) There's something wrong with everyone or almost everyone. Not too many people are perfect. Please don't believe you're worthless because, in reality, you're not.

Wow...we aren't so different, you and I. You pretty much summed up my childhood through highschool. Where we differ is that you realized that there wasn't anything wrong with you, I on the other hand, know that there is something wrong with me and I know that I'll either have to fix it or end up worthless.

WondersBeyondOurGalaxy:<br />
<br />
To put it briefly, my childhood sucked. Growing up in a dysfunctional household and often being made fun of at school (from elementary to high school) were the main reasons why. I remember when one of the few friends I had asked me why I would always walk home with my head down (I was in the 8th when that happened). I was depressed but I didn't let that person know I was. Ever since elementary, I was told I was ugly, weak, etc. I had no mental nor physical deficiencies, but the majority of the people I knew thought something was wrong with me. I was a timid kid from the beginning but when I got into high school, I was pretty much void of self-confidence in every area except my intelligence. <br />
<br />
Fast forward to maybe a year and a half ago, I realized that I've had some serious self-concept issues, and this site as well as the friends on it helped me realized that. The reality was that the pain I felt from childhood continued to exist as me feeling deeply flawed and always misunderstood. That's why I hated myself. And as painful as it was, I had to get over myself to see that there wasn't anything wrong with me when I was a child and that I just grew up in a bad environment. I wouldn't say I was completely healed from that realization but it definitely started the healing process and I feel much better. I can better appreciate and express who I am now.

I don't have the kind of money that's required in order for "help". So...according to most people, like you and Chiquita, no one will love me unless I love myself....I think that's a lie that is supposed to scare people into "loving" themselves...because I know that at least ONE person loves me....even if I don't love myself. But that one person can't force me to love myself even though that one person knows that I think about suicide. Everyone just says "Oh you need to start loving yourself, otherwise no one will love you.." Tummy...when you hated yourself, was there a simple reason for it...an easy answer to give to a stranger who asks "And what would be the reason for hating yourself?" I don't think there is an easy answer for that one... Please...if you really wish that women like myself would love themselves...tell us...what made you change from a person who hated themself into a person who "loves" themself. How did YOU "learn to love yourself"?

Yes Gracvey. You're exactly right :)

We are all unique in our own ways, and unique is beautiful. So we are all beautiful!!

We are all unique in our own ways, and unique is beautiful. So we are all beautiful!!

Thank you JasJ :)

Thank you Iza :)

And what would be the reason for hating yourself?

Thank you chiquita :)

I couldn't agree with you more. I have found that if you don't love yourself, no one else will. Atleast that's been my experience.

To silentdarkness and WondersBeyondGalaxy: <br />
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I don't know a sure way of overcoming those thoughts soon, but I do know that those thoughts aren't us. <br />
<br />
Realize that those thoughts aren't you, that they are not always correct, and that you are a beautiful person just like everyone else. Our ego often has a tendency of isolating us from everyone, making us believe that we're alone with our problems, and is often responsible for the ceaseless chatter in our minds. I remember when this got out of hand for me, I was really depressed. It took awhile but I've learned to at least take a break from these thoughts by giving myself an hour each day to focus on something positive: an inspirational book, a walk outside especially when the weather is beautiful, a positive idea or thought. During that time, I consciously zone into these things for an hour, leaving my attention unhooked from negative thoughts and things that trigger them. <br />
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Also, as far as suicide goes, please get help. As I said before you're not alone and you have a right to a beautiful life just like everyone else :)

Geez, that's kind of hard to do...How does one learn to love themselves? I actually would like an answer to this because I just don't see how I can learn to love myself. In fact, Tummie, I've been thinking of suicide lately...I'm sure those thoughts aren't healthy and I don't want to think about them...but how? How do I learn to love myself?

Thank you trailguide! And you're spot-on with the fact that without self-love, we can't truly love another

I soooooo agree with you Tummie. And i wish that too. It took me a very long time to realize how vital self-love is , and that without it we can't truly know how to love another. It's the first step. <br />
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"You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." Siddhartha Gautama Buddha