It Hurts Worse Than Ever

My dad died when i was 8 yrs old. I never got to spend an amzing amount of time with him, but he was the only person who never abused me in any way. All the other people i have lived with have. I loved him so much, and whenhe died, a piece of me died too. I think about him often, and have started to feel really low. I am only 15, so it's hard work having to deal with my depression and school. It feels like i have nobody to talk to, and sometimes i wish people who love me dead, to bring my dad back. i know this is wrong, but can't help it. my home life isn't a pretty picture, and has never been so. i don't get on well with my step-mum, don't speak to my mum. so i have nobody. i sometimes feel guilty for being so happy, when my dad is dead. and i really don't know what to do.
ioke ioke
18-21, F
2 Responses Mar 17, 2007

Your dad is always with you young lady, just pray to him and he will guide you and bless you along your journey in life. I am very sorry for your loss but you sound like a very strong little girl, my mom died when I was four and my dad recently passed away. I miss him too just like you, I read your story and you are younger than me and didnt have much time with your dad, just hold on to the good memories and you can help people along the way get through hard times. I understand you dont have a very good family, what you can do is keep a journal and write down your feelings, make them into poems or songs, exercise, dance, or sing. Whatever it takes to keep you happy and lift your spirits, you need to be your own best friend, I will be praying for you.

i no how you feel kinda cause i nvr had a dad i am 13 and my dad left me and my mom b4 i was born because of me he wanted no kids and i dont even think he knows what i look like ive never even seen a picture of him and i cant talk to my mom or any1 but my bff becaus my mom would say to stop myself from crying and he was bad anyway but i cant help it i cyr like 12 times a month about that and i think that if i wernt here they would still b together......and 4 about 5 years now my mom is like an enmy grrrr........but ifi were u i would think is this wat he would have wanted for me to b upset maby u need to take a stand and go somewere like run 2 a friends house if u r abused im sry ttyl