I wish my family knew just how miserable I really am but i feel like they look right through me. Like the times they ask me a question but interrupt me half way through the answer and never ask me to finish what I was saying. Out of the 5 children that live in this house I am the biological parent to one of them. The oldest lets me know all the time that I AM NOT HIS MOTHER and that what I say makes no difference to him. Its hard to watch someone so young be on a downward spiral and no matter what advice you give they are the exception to every rule and what I say will never happen to him because I don't know anything. Even my husband makes me feel like that too. He expects me to take care of the children all the time and tell me I am the only true mother figure they have had consistently and he will go to work or go play with his friends whenever he want to, but then will undermined my decisions and punishments when it comes to the children telling me that they are his kids and he knows what's best for them. How can I be a consistent mother figure to the children when what I say doesn't mean anything. I feel that all I am is a glorified live in babysitter. I cook, do the laundry, clean which doesn't really matter because none of the children know how to clean up after themselves. Its like the only time that I am ever noticed by any of them, other than my son is when something doesn't get done. I understand that as a stay at home mother and house wife that there will be situations where I do nice things for my family and they will go unnoticed but when it comes to the point where the nice things I do are expected and that I am never allowed to have an opinion about the children and what they do thats when I fall back into my depression. I just want to go to my room and hide there for days, I dont want to talk to any of them or be bothered in any way unless it is my own child. I relish in the time that they are gone to visit their real mother....but those visits with her are few and far between because she is a convenience parent, I have to change my plans around and make everything work around her because if she doesn't feel like showing up then I do not get my break and I'm not allowed to say anything about it because their father has full custody so if she doesn't want them I'm left to figure out what to do with them for the weekend, and its always last minute. I just want to take my son and run....screaming into the night and never return. How do you tell your spouse that you hate your life and that you are beginning to resent them for how miserable you are?
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 21, 2013