I Don't Know What to Do Anymore...

I know some people may be biased about this story because of how young my husband and I both am. We started going out when I was a Junior in High School; he was a Senior at the time. He was avid about joining the Army, but I talked him out of it when we were going out. We broke up right before I was a Senior because I had found a message he had sent to another girl saying "I love you". He claimed that it was just a joke, but there were no other messages to show that this was the truth. That same girl he had messaged had kissed him at work a day before which he hadn't told me about, just lied about the whole situation.

About a month or so after we broke up he dropped out of high school and got his GED. That January he went off to boot camp to become an Airborne Infantryman in the Army. While he was in bootcamp he sent me a letter and i all the feelings came back. I went to his graduation and we started to go out again. A few months later I found out I was pregnant:a month after I had graduated from High School. We truely loved one another so we decided to get married, unfortunately a week or so after we decided this he was told that he was going to get deployed two months down the road. In order to make everything go smoothly we decided to get married before he deployed. He left in September and I had our son in January. He came back from deployment in July. During his deployment we bought a house at his new duty station, however he didn't help with any decisions about our son and the new home. He was also spending about a thousand dollars each month on idk what while he was overseas.

We have now been married for about a year and a half and he is still acting like he isnt married. He just turned 21 a few weeks ago and partied that entire weekend completely ignoring the fact that it was his last weekend with me and our son as well (he has training almost everyday until August when he deploys again).

Back in November he and 5 other men from his unit were sent to kentucky to honor a town who had sent them care packages while they were deployed. The town paid for all of them to go out and drink every night. He told me that he had spent a majority of the time talking to women and trying to send them over to his friends who were single, but they were too shy so he ended up talking to them most of the night. Granted, that didnt make me feel very good. When he came home he kept texting one number in kentucky and i asked him who it was, he said it was one of the moms who had set up everything. He texted the number alot so i asked him again a few weeks later and he told me the same thing....i didn't believe him but i let it go because the txts stopped for a while. About a week ago he washed his phone so someone in his squad gave him a new phone on monday. When he came home he told me to set up his phone for him. While it was loading all of his messages that he had missed came through. Most were from tmobile, but one was from that same number he was messaging from kentucky. I asked who it was and he said he had no idea, but he thought it was from the lady who had set up the carepackages....he had forgotten that his numbers had been transfered to my phone because i had put his SIM card into my phone. The lady's number was in my phone so I told him that it wasnt her because he number was saved on his SIM. He said, oh, well i dont know who it is. I txted the number and asked who it was...she wrote "Gretchen :)". I asked him who she was and he said, i don't know...i could tell he was lying. Later that night after we had eaten dinner and put our son to bed we were sitting down watching tv. His phone went off a few times so i asked him if he was going to pick it up. He hesitated and then said oh its Adam he's just texting me. Again, he sucks at lying and i could tell that something was up. We went to bed at like 10. After he had fallen asleep i wanted to see if he had been telling me that truth or if i was just being paranoid. I looked at his phone and he had deleted his messages. So by then I knew that something was up. I went online and checked our cell statement and he had been messaging the Gretchen girl since monday and all day yesterday....I had sent him a few txts that day and had no answer which he said was because he had training all day. He had the time to talk to Gretchen but not his wife. What really made me mad was that we had fought on Sunday about him lying and not helping out around the house (he made the excuse that he shouldn't have to do anything because he is at work all day. i cant work because we only have one car and not enough money for daycare). I don't understand why he would lie to me the very next day after he told me he wouldnt do it anymore and that he would try harder to help out.

I don't know if it is just me, but stuff like this has been happening ever since we got married....any suggestions or comments?


MskGriggs0811 MskGriggs0811
3 Responses Feb 25, 2009

Start with more self Love for you...Remember to treat others the way you wish to be treated. Then start practicing some real deep self-Love. ( From the inside out) You have the Breath of Life and Love inside you - like we all do. Remember to Love, Protect and Share it with & for yourself & others. Also do the same for the Temple it resides in..Tour Body... Once you can do this the universe will forgive your transgressions. Your life will take on better choices and outcomes LOVE & HUGS, livingwell

I thought about that, but wouldn't me leaving the house just give him a better opportunity to go out every night and just act like a 21 year old?

Sounds like he wasn't ready for being a husband. Maybe you could move to your parent's house or a friend's house for a while and see how he likes being alone. You could tell him that that'll be how it is if he doesn't stop texting all these other women. You need to give him an ultimatum or he'll just continue to use you.