I Wish My Mother-in-law Would Move Out

Three years ago, my husband had his mother move into our house without my consent. She had foreclosed on her house, racked up some serious debts to people and creditors. As being the oldest child and son, he felt the need to take care of his mother by having her move in with us. Against my firm opposition, he brought a truck full of her stuff and had her move in. Although he promised me that it would be temporary, it has never crossed my mind until now that the longer she stays, the harder it will get to have her move out. I have three kids under the age 5. I had to quit my work after my 3rd child as the child care expenses were getting too much. My mother-in-law's new employment is going 15 miles away from our house to look after her other grandchild all day...she gets paid equivalent to the local daycare's rate for a child. She offered to take care of our kids, but once she found out that there weren't going to be a sufficient monetary compensation, she changed her mind. She lives in our second biggest room in the house with like 40 U-Haul boxes stacked high and spread out...still unpacked from the time she moved in. I have never seen her vacuum her room. I've done several times for the sake of our kids. They like to follow her into her room and play, but I've disciplined them not to go in there.
She does NOT help with cleaning the house, but does help out with washing dishes and the laundry. I think most of her income goes to paying off her debts and rarely offers to buy anything for our household. I am frustrated with my husband. He is far from thinking about having his mom move out. Although our personalities don't clash, my mother-in-law seems to be way reliant on her son. In other words, this is my son's house, and if he is okay with me being here, I careless what you think...
My mind is about to explode and everyday I think about telling her o move out. It's going to break my husband's heart, not to mention cause a huge fight. I am so lost and unhappy in my own home~. Do I drop the bomb and confront her directly and ask her to move out?
Outpostcourt Outpostcourt
36-40
1 Response Jan 18, 2012

I am in the same position, hubby is the youngest child and only son.... His sisters are all much older (a few are grandmothers already) and living abroad in Europe. We have been married for 3 years now and she lives with us. It is the most frustrating situation ever!!! He feels that it is his "obligation" to look after her because his sisters want nothing to do with her. They are the "affectionate but from a distance" type. I just feel it is unfair that they are saddling their brother and I by burdening us with their mom. They have all had their married lives with their husbands and they don't seem to have even thought of extending the same courtesy to their only brother??!! Examples: we try and go on a weekend away and she throws a hissy fit screaming at us and telling us that we are throwing her away and what is she supposed to do while we are gone!! I have had a glass of cola thrown at me for bringing a kitten home ecause we had not consulted with her before doing so. Case in point; I have just come into my living room to give my hubby a chance to catch up on some sleep and decided to do our paperwork (salary notices, taxes, etc) and she comes from the other side of the house to basically snoop and see if she can yet again tell me how to do things. <br />
I live in a 5 bedroom, 3 bathroom house and when I get in from work I head straight for my room which is where I pretty much stay apart from cooking and cleaning (she is home all day and does absolutely nothing - well - not really... she does have friends over who are still around having tea parties when I get home from work in the evenings). She is starting to affect my marriage (I dont feel like being intimate with my husband any longer - I guess I blame him for not standing up to his sisters and telling them to take her off our hands for a bit. I know this is not good but I cant help it...<br />
Any of you have advice??