Mother In Law Moved In and I'm Moving Out...

Ive been happily married for 11 years. 14 months ago my mother in law moved in. That's when my life changed and not for the better.  When she moved into my home she tried taking it over. She would tell me how things should be and nothing was good enough. She told my friends what a bad wife and a horrible housekeeper I was. My husband, MIL and I went to counseling together, which is suppose to be private, but she blabbed to everyone about some really personal stuff. My friend told me a few days later that my MIL told her what I said in counseling. Ive caught her standing around corners, trying to hear what my husband and I are talking about. Then she tells the whole family all our personal business. My only escape from her is when I'm at work. When I come home, I go right to my room shut the door and pray she doesn't knock on it. Last night she knocked on my bedroom door 4 times in 30 minutes for stupid stuff. I think she does it just to keep tabs on what I'm doing. If I walk out the front door, she stands in the door and watches me the whole time I'm out there. She's like a hawk waiting to pounce on me, the first thing I do wrong and she's going to either correct me or tell my hubby what Ive done.   I feel like a prisoner in my own home. All this stress has made me physically ill. I have to leave, she wont leave. Hubby wont make his mommy leave. She knows this is ruining our marriage, and doesn't care.  Hubby knows I have one foot out the door and asked If I could go somewhere for a few months so he could work on the issues. I cant go with out a U-haul because I would come back to nothing - she likes to throw away my stuff. I'm just not sure what to do...

brisgirl1 brisgirl1
8 Responses Oct 2, 2008

My MIL moved in with us 7 years ago. I have similar feelings and my hubby has too much guilt to make her move. She makes sure I get no privacy by being home whenever I get home from work. The days my husband has his days off, she stays gone for half the day. I have to retreat to my bedroom to have privacy. It isn't my house anymore and I can't find a decent way to get her to leave without upsetting everyone else.

My story is very similar. My MIL moved in and took over. I now confine myselft to my bedroom because she blabs to the inlaws every single thing that happens in my house. She is nosey, annoying, loud, doesnt help with any bills, and I feel like I'm about to have a nervous break down. My husband wont do anything about her coming between us. When he comes home from work in the afternoon, a few minutes after I walk in, she races to greet him at the door. So she can be the first person to talk to him. Then proceeds to dominate his time for the next hour, while me, his wife and his 11 year old daughter have to wait. Then once she is done talking she stands and listens to our conversations, and butts in, interupts, talks loudly on the phone while we talk, and my daughter does her homework. She is home all day in my house and doesnt so much as sweep the floor. I come home to a sink full of dishes from her, and she expects us to sit and listen to her day about the 15 minute trip to the pharmacy. I'm going crazy. I really feel like putting her AND my husband stuff in a pod on the street and telling them both to get the hell out.

Your story sounds JUST like mine! I am at my wits end too! My MIL has been with us for 9 months and it was supposed to be til she got on her feet. Well, she blows all the money she has coming, getting on her feet is NEVER going to happen! I have told my husband that I will NOT have her here for the rest of her life. But, he doesn't like the idea of kicking his mother out. It looks like my only choice is to either deal with it forever or move out. She is not going anywhere, she has it made. She lives here rent free, bill free and doesn't do anything but lay on her fat butt and watch the cable WE pay for! And gets to spend her money on WHATEVER she WANTS! It is time for her to GO! Just don't know how to get her OUT!

i read your story and i feel your pain. Unfortunatly in my household its not my MIL its my own mother. But i get the sneaking around the corners, she facebooks everything, tries to raise my kids and calls my house her own. Im about to go crazy and i too am to the point of being ill. I pray for you that you and your husband can resolve your situation.

Hey there...<br />
I just read your post and I just thought I should let you know, I am working on a new documentary style TV show about families dealing with the types of issues you describe here. It will be airing on a major cable network this coming Spring/Summer. ba<x>sed on what you've written I think your family could really benefit from participating. It's a really positive show that aims to bring families closer together! I would love hear more about what your dealing with and tell you more about this new series. <br />
Please feel free to get in touch with me directly,<br />
<br />
Amy<br /> <br />
212 564 2607 ex: 2339

Sounds like your husband can't choose between you and his mother. There is no way I would leave for a few months while he works it out with his mother. He is to leave his father and mother and cleave to you. I would be very upset about this also. Stand your ground and put your foot down and tell him straight up she's got to go.

WOW. Im so there. If we didnt live in MY mothers house (we rent it from her--she lives on the other side of the country, its for sale but no buyers so we are helping her out by renting it) I would have been gone long ago...Im just biding my time until my chapter 13 (another story...has to do with my ex)is paid off and then im gone! i have already told them both. with or without him i will not live with his mother any longer than i have to...its been over a year already...i cant believe i didnt listen to everybody who kept telling me it was a bad idea! was it ever! worst mistake i have ever made.

GOD help us ALL.....

I can't believe that there are others out there. The whole "email and ant thing" calling your husband, happened to me just last week. Plus alot more. I'll post my story soon. I believe she has googled and found this site and is doing exactly what you guys are saying that your mother in laws do. Mine has only lived with us for two months now and it has gotten to me already. I was the one who though twe should help her with the stipluation that it was temporary, but now I am the bad guy.