How Come I'm Never Complimented?

I've been dating this guy for 3 weeks...from the first night we hungout we had a major connection...2 days later we were a couple! At first I thought I maybe rushed into a relationship, because I was still getting to know him. I take chances though, and if it works out it does, and if it doesn't at least I know I tried. My boyfriend hasn't had a girlfriend in 2 years because girls in Orange County aren't the type of girls to have a committed relationship with.  The first night we hungout...he told his friend on the phone playfully he was on a "hot date"- Okay so there's one compliment, right? Haha. We're pretty close to eachother and share a lot of the same interests. I'm the type of girl though who likes compliments, I don't need to hear "You're beautiful" every day- but every once in a while it's nice to hear that you're pretty or even APPRECIATED! I know my boyfriend appreciates me and all I do for him, but he never says it. About a week ago, we were getting a little intimate and I was wearing some Army gear because it was warm...he told me I looked so hot and told me I was sexy. Other than that,  he hasn't complimented me at all. When my friend has been with her boyfriend for 2 years and they haven't gone one day without seeing eachother even if it was for 2 minutes, and he still makes an effort to tell her she's matter how she looks that day. I feel like my boyfriend is very comfortable around me, and maybe doesn't feel the need to compliment me because maybe he feels like I know I'm pretty and appreciated since he is with me? I don't know...but it really bugs me...I talked to my friend about it and she told me to not say anything so soon...just wait it out. SO that's what I'll do...I'll give it another month or so...and if I'm still not being complimented then I will bring it up or what should i do!??!!

Babytucktuck Babytucktuck
18-21, F
5 Responses Sep 2, 2009

Ive been with my partner for 13 months and he hardly ever compliments me i know he loves me i dont doudt that for a second but he rarely tells me im beautiful or anything,ive mentioned it to him before and he will say it then,although he claims he isnt that good with words.I dont want to have to mention it to him because he should say it on his own.Like you said i dont need to hear it every day but it would be nice to be shown im appreicated.

The earlier in the relationship that you state your boundaries/expectations, the better the chance that it'll be successful. Please state you need compliments, but please, look first inside yourself and make sure that's the case.

Lucky guy. I used to complement to my ex girl friend about many things about her. I love to do it because that will make her happy and I will be happy also. Beside, I just said the facts from my perceptions.

yeah and also this is his first "real" relationship since he was in his teens. So maybe he is unsure about how to go about telling me nice things? Or doesn't know certain aspects that make up a good relationship. Everything with us is great...except for the compliment part. Also...I pay for everything, he's going through tough times and I understand that...but I rarely get a "thank-you" or "i appreciate it"...I pay for dinner, lunch, drinks, pool games, and just about everything. I don't mind since I have the money to do so and I feel good about myself when I can take care of someone else and help them out. But I never know if he really appreciates or realizes what I do for him..ya know?

Don't wait. Do it now. If he cares about your feelings, he should do it align to your wish. To be complimented is one of the basic of a healthy relationship. But don't forget to try to understand "where he is coming from first". Sometime, guys are just stubborn and old fashion.