He Called Again Tonight

He calls sporadically.  He has never taken care of us but wants me to pick up the phone like I am sitting on the phone, like I owe him something.  I make sure both he and his parents have time with the baby.  I meet him in public places.  I dont pick up the phone after the baby is asleep.  I dont get it.  I am glad he picked up a girlfriend when he went out of town so he leaves us alone more.  I tried to avoid trouble when he was around.  I stayed in my bedroom like a whipped dog for 23 months to avoid conflict.  I told my dad for the first time today about him punching me out during the pregnancy.  My father has a different opinion of him now.  The X pretends to love the baby, but I know it is just an excuse to cause me grief.   He probably does love him more now that he does not have to deal with him on a day to day basis.  The last fight we had before he left for good was because I did not want to have sex in front of a 14 month old at the time.  I wanted to wait one more hour until the baby went to bed and do it in the living room.  Thats just gross to want to do it while the baby watched.  I told him he had to start supporting his kid tonight and he really got mad.  I have paid for formula, diapers, babyfood, insurance pretty much by myself since the baby was born.  I had to take the baby to relatives for childcare while I worked, even though the X did not work.  He was negligent with the baby, would not feed him or change his diaper.   I am so sick of this... As soon as he does not call for about a week and I quit getting sick at my tum tum, he calls again and starts crap.  He reminds me of the girlfriends X on the show Dexter, nice to others faces, horrible to me.  Thanks once again for letting me vent.   

36-40, F
8 Responses Mar 20, 2009

I spoke with social services... Since he has not worked in 2 years, the most he would be responsible for would be 150/month. He has said he wants to pay 40/week which would be 160 on a 4 week month. <br />
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When he sees the baby short-term, he has been good. Its the long-term and when the baby pitches a fit that he starts threatening us. I am ok now in public places, but I will not let him take the baby on his own. <br />
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The stepmom and real dad are ok around us as long as they dont drink, so once again, the public visits are good during the day time. <br />
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I actually dont feel as sick since he moved back to this area. I at least know what is going on.

We had been seeing the grandparents about bi-weekly since he left.<br />
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For an update, we have had 3 public visits. They have gone well. The stepmom lost her job and he is living with them. To meet at Mc D-s he wore enough cologne to burn my nose. He will try to move back in but I am not that dumb.

There's always the possibility that she was just trying to make contact with you and is more comfortable with email, but I guess I wouldn't rule out permanent records, either...

By the way, I put this under family not sex, and here it is...

I am afraid to tell her anything at all.... Sick at my tum tum.... Thats a good idea... I wonder if she is instigating this thinking that we are better with contact... She is sooo wrong. If he wanted to see the baby, he has both my numbers.

His stepmom emailed tonight instead of calling to see if he could see the baby if he paid child support. I am sick at my tumm tumm again. I never refused to let him see the baby and since he does not work, it would be his parents paying. Not sure how much child support I could threaten him with since he does not work and it is based on income. I am freaking out. It has been over a month since last contact with him and why is she emailing for a written response?

They have to threaten physical harm in the past 72 hours for you to get the order where I live, I have already asked. Mental abuse does not count. I live near family, and I can dial 911 real fast. I have dogs that live in the house so I have an alarm system in them.

I hope things get better.