Stop Talking Already

okay, i am looking directly at you. sitting across the table.squinting my eyes, looking at your mouth moving, trying to concentrate - cant. I know your talking but i cant take in what you are saying. when you stop and it looks like you are waiting for me to say something - i *nod*  and hope that will suffice because if it doesn't, this will drag on FOREVER. more time of my life lost to yet another mind numbing lecture. must i sit through this EVERY OTHER DAY?? 

now i could get up and wait - my legs feel like jello. crap, stupid legs!  I rub my eyes and try to focus once again. damn its bright in here !  I look at you,  *nod*. you get up walk over and get something from the fridge. you pass me a glass, and i take it -  my hand is visibly shaky.  ****.  your sitting again,  i look at you and caught a few words ----- still don't give a crap. i try to bring the glass to my mouth, what the hell is in here ? ughhh.  i put it down.  i blankly stare at you, *nod, eye roll*.  i look around, i should really clean up in here.....  "hartley"..........maybe i will tomorrow......."hartley!"..........well, probably not..........."HARTLEY ! " . oh crap, missed my nod Que. ****. "why are you laughing, this is not funny!!" damn, was i laughing? crap !!! hartley, concentrate. i can see you looking at me, trying hard to get a glimpse of the old me. stop trying. shes gone.

you start on again....and my mind  starts to wonder again. what time is it? how long has this been going on? i look at the clock  ---  damn hartley, set your clock some freakin day will you ?  i see you waiting.....*nod, look away*. oh my freakin crap!! are you still here? still talking? please, please run out of words to say !! i look at the fork on the table. pick it up. my playing with the fork  i see annoys you - good. PLEASE stop talking and go. thoughts of jamming the fork into my hand, just so you ll SHUT UP go through my mind. ****........... *nod, look at the ceiling*

wait ! did you say something about - flies ? - oh, my eyes - nice. okay i don't feel so great. i look at you *nod* . can we NOT do this and just say we did?  the nausea is bad. crap. i start shaking badly and i know i am going to get sick so i get up , tell you to go home,and leave me alone. i held onto the wall and try to make it to the bathroom on time. i feel so bad, i don't look to see if your still there as i turn the corner.
hartleybroken hartleybroken
22-25, F
Jul 18, 2010