I Wish She Loved Me Back
Shes stunning in evey way.
The ironic thing is that shes traped in a life that she hates,,and she dont want to share a life with me.
But I still want her to dream,i still want to wave her,I still want to be her everything,,or her something.
She speaks of a hopefull love that failed her,,not just one,but many.
Shes given up on love,because a man she chose to give her heart to was married,,and she beleived in him until he failed,,then she closed it all up and accepted nothing,,not even from me,and Im her best friend.(pretty much her only friend)
she dont want to love cause he ate up what was left.
and now shes done.
I would beg her to be mine if I thought it would change her.
She looked at me and said I was attractive,,looked at my family and dreamed of belonging to one.Shes longed to learn art,and im an artist that would take and teach her endlessly.Shes longed for love and would never accept the invitation.
To me she looks like a farytail waiting to happen,she accepts my age,my looks,my profession,even where I live and most of what Im about so far as I know,
But she wont.
Have I been lied to?
Is she just waiting to get around me,,My god she is traped ,and hates it,,and wont make a jump!!
It would be a dramatic,and desperate change,,yeah maybe out of need in many ways,yeah maybe chancing our friendship to end ,,but what is wrong,,so wrong that Im so not the one?
I just wish she would,
And I let her know (again) lasty night,and that has never worked ,and I talked my way into a corner by sharing my thoughts,,like I always do when shes broke up with this impossabile (boyfriend)
To give up is just not an option for me as I cannot ,not be her friend and check in on her at least on a minimal basis.
Ive done a shitload for her at times,,,
And she wont even see that.
Well,,I beielve she really just cant see that because shes been blinded,,she lives for blindness i seems.
She forgets me at the moment he arrives,,,the differance is,,now she says ,,She knows hes not the one.
If thats changed anything can change,,but alas,,,its never over because she works with him evey day,,an office or two away,,and she is there.
I offered her to move in
For me thats insane
but still I did offer it.
I think I will always offer that,because for me,,she realy seems to be the only one I have been made for.