It's Hard Knowing That It May Never Come to Be

   I'm trying to think positive & be happy with myself. But days like today make it so HARD! I am feeling so alone & unloved. I keep going over in my mind the years wasted on the one guy I stupidly thought would never leave me. I don't know how to put myself in front of the car again & pray someone doesn't run me over. I'm sore, hurt, & sick of being the "FRIEND".

   Why am I not good enough to love? Why can't someone see the person inside the "Fat Suit"? Why doesn't anyone want to email or talk on messenger anymore? Why Why Why???

   I know that I'm not perfect. Far from it in fact. I know that I probably listen to my mom too much. I need to learn to not put so much self worth into what others think. I know I have baggage & I can be more emotional than most. I know all of this, but I know that I'm also loving. I will take care never to hurt you. I love to make dinners, lunches, and just be there. I always want to know how your day went, & I'm there whenever you don't want to be alone. I just want someone who can return the favor..... Somebody who'll love me regardless. Someone to treat me as well as I'll treat them. To love me, stand by me, protect me, & never ever hurt me.... at least not on purpose. Someone who can make me laugh, let me cry, and someone who thinks I'm beautiful because he LOVES me.

YES; I WANT TO BE SOMEBODY'S EVERYTHING! I WANT SOMEBODY TO BE MY EVERYTHING.... I THOUGHT SHANE WAS IT, NOW I'M LOST & DON'T KNOW HOW TO CARRY ON.

 

  Teri 

deleted deleted
26-30
Mar 1, 2009