I am scared I will die, without knowing the love of a woman. I feel like I have so much love to give. But know one to share it with. I would probably either smother a girl if she came around (which is not likely), or I would put up a wall between us. I wish she could look into my heart. I wish she could have a cable connection, straight to my mind, and know I dream of her. She would see how much love I can give. But, that's not possible. The reality is finding a girlfriend, is work. I am tired, dragged down, with life, to put in more work. It also will take some risk, putting yourself out there, being vulnerable, all of which I am far too scared to do. That's the reality of it. I dream of a woman that would come into my life and make it easy for me. Tell me what to do, take away all my fear. But that's not likely. I am 35 now and its been 10 years since my last relationship. I have no child support, no nasty past divorces. I work full time, make decent money, work for an aerospace company. I am not bad looking. But I am so afraid of women. I don't know why. Things on the outside seem okay. But I want a girl so bad. To hang out with every day. Laugh with, expect me home. Need to hear from me, everyday. Expect to hear from me everyday. Guys if you have that, your lucky in my book. I hate, hate when guys take that for granted. I have panic episodes daily, because I think what if I never find someone. I know people will say, you will. But really will I. Only time will tell. But what about all these wasted years, I could be spending with my girl. That gets too me. I am sorry. I am only human. Thanks a lot for reading this. It helps me to get these things out.
Johnnyrotten1 Johnnyrotten1
36-40, M
4 Responses Aug 21, 2014

I understand you. I have a neurological illness and feel like I will die without every knowing love or loved someone outside of my family. It's depressing. It makes me question why God put on this planet, just to be robbed of my late teen years. Going to college, having a boyfriend, driving, etc.

this breaks my heart.

Don`t give up looking. like they say:
there`s more than one fish in the sea. baby glp.

Thats right. Thank you

I totally understand. I'm 35 as well. Never married, no kids. I'm smart, good looking and kind. I have a lot to give to the right person. And what I just said "to the right person" is the key. People like you and I are looking for something that fed right!!! Lots, most, people get into relationships and barrages bc the other person is someone they can tolerate. I'm sure you, like myself, have the opportunity to date but choose not not with those people for whatever reason. If all you want is a girlfriend, stop looking for the real deal and have fun with girls!! The real deal is a rare find OR something that develops over a long time. I wish you the best of luck! I know it's lonely. I dream of a mans arms wrapped around me every night!

Oops... *feels right

I thank you for telling me that. I know I am not alone. My heart goes out to you.....

Thanks for connecting with me. I am sure you are an amazing person

Wouldn't say amazing lol! But I do my best to be a good one ;)

this one is true

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