The Sad Hopeless Bleak Out Look I Have Seems To Be Rotting Me To The Core

This is my first  post so please forgive my bad spelling and or grammar.My current situation at the moment is dealing with my fiance she is going through some really bad depression.i have no frigin clue what else to do she takes meds for it and she will soon see a shrink about this, but when she tries to get help she will do good for a few day and she will think she has got it nipped in the bud and then she just stops it all together the we get to enjoy our selves a nice roller coster ride down to the depths of this bullshit depression.oh did i mention she takes all her anger out on me when she is feeling crappy i seem to be her punching bag at times like these.frankly im sick of this up and down ride she is giving me.i wish i could take all her pain away and make everything better i really wish i could.i also wish i never knew when she was upset or sad because she usually lies to me and says everything is fine and that usually makes me feel worse because i know when she is lying.it just makes it seem like what else could she be lying about. so trust is slowly going out the window.i know im no saint i have done my fare share of bad things in this realationship but i know for a fact i dont deserve being treated like a piece of crap everytime she is upset she told me tonight that she wants to commit suicide so i know if i leave her now she will more than likely go through with it.but what seems to hurt the most is that she acts like she doesnt give to ***** about me is that the depression talking or is that how she truelly feels.at this point i wish someone anyone would just come and put me out of my misery

rundown rundown
26-30
5 Responses Jul 27, 2010

The disease is NOT HER. Trying to ruin everything and drive you away to prove to you, herself and everybody else that she is worthless and unloveable is THE DISEASE.

I don't know where you live, but google "clinical trials ketamine" and see if there are any in your area. Also, go to the websites of all the hospitals within driving distance and see what kind of clinical trials for depression they have. Most hospitals have some sort of trials going on, but especially the teaching hospitals associated with a medical school. Participation in clinical trials is free, and you usually get a little bit of money for expenses.

She would have to go in for an "inventory"--a Q&A to scale her depression before she can begin. If you find a trial that sounds good, don't hesitate to call the number (usually of an assistant who is working with the researching doctor)--they can give you a lot of good info about how to get in the trial. Once she clears all the requirements (can be quick) she could be getting treatment in a trial almost immediately.

Low-dose ketamine treatments worked for my drug-resistant Major Depression & PTSD when NOTHING else did (for about 10 years).

It sounds like she definitely has an underlying emotional problem. The fact that she is on drugs means there is something wrong.<br />
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The key here is to think about your own feelings as much as hers.<br />
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What really worries me is the suicide statement, it may be a cry for help but most likely it does have some depth to it.<br />
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Your options are limited, what ever way you turn will not be easy.<br />
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I think these problems are not healthy for a good relationship, so some change needs to be made. So her seeing a shrink is a good step but it is the start to a hard long journey for her and wont be quick.<br />
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If you stick it out with her you will need to be patient with her and it will most likely take a long time and will have to include a professional - shrink, but this will be very hard on you as these things are never fixed over night.<br />
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If you decide not to carry on with her and the relationship then your concern for her committing suicide is VERY valid and you must ensure that she has the right support around her before ending the relationship.<br />
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I wish you the best of luck with this and hope you can find a good way forward for both of you.

Hi oh how I wish I could truly give you an answer to the issues that you are currently encountering. Have you asked your fiance if there is anything that you have done to make her want to commit suicide? If you have ever cheated on her than maybe that is why it would seem like she is trying to hurt you. Self-guilt? Could that be apart of the problem? Why wont you contact the crisis hotline on her behalf? If she is taking meds for depression she must have been diagnosed by a professional and if that has occurred what type of treatment plan was developed help her to deal with the issue? Has she been diagnosed with a mental illness? If not she needs to be assessed. If she has ever attempted suicide, have her join my group at www.dailystrength.org ( survivors of suicide) maybe I might be able to help. I am one class away from receiving my masters degree in counseling studies. I would love to help. You should seek out professional help for post traumatic stress disorder because it is highly traumatic to remain in this relationship as well as to prepare to be married to someone who might be bipolar and or manic depressant. You and her should journal your feelings and or thoughts and should seek out couples counseling immediately. I hate too say this but if something or someone does not intervene you will lose her one way or another so it wont matter if you leave physically. I must say this, if someone is not your wife, mother, or chid you are not responsible to stay with them or take care of them even though this is highly noble of you. She is actually killing herself at this moment but it is not a physical death. Pray and ask God for the answers that you might want from someone else because He is the only one who has all of the answers. Do you guys have any children? The harsh reality of it all is the fact that she might need to be institutionalized to be healed of her depression. Sometimes it is the most harshest of responses that need to be made that might save an individuals life. As grown ups we must at times make those decisions in order that our lives can be salvaged and enhanced.. Blessings

break up and get the hell out of there...you thjnk its bad now wait till your married with kids....run

is she drinking too