I Tried Last Night

I saw the girl that took my place, in the hearts of my friends. two blocks south was a large parking garage, where one of my friends fell (they say she committed suicide, i say their wrong. but i got up there, it would be so easy. I sat up there. downed all my pills. looked out to the park and river. when i decided to jump, i passed out. why am i so cowardly? I want it to be over. all of it. i am worthless.
Thistlelynn Thistlelynn
18-21, F
5 Responses Sep 13, 2012

Oh believe me, you've got purpose. Love, you're only what, 16? So what above everything else makes you smile? What's the thing that makes you say "this is the coolest thing ever?" Thank God there's no more suicidal thoughts. Hey, I'm really glad you wrote back, thank you.

Karen.

Hey Karen,
Close on the age 17, nothing really makes me smile. or think this is the coolest thing ever. I'm diagnosed clinically depressed plus all sorts of other crap. I'm fine though.

Girl, I can't believe it. I hope the docs don't have you on a bunch of drugs. We just met, but I'm here to talk to if you need. Pretty sure the older you get, things will begin to make more sense. My 16 year-old has been soooooooo depressed all week because the acne on her face has flared up really bad. I took her to the dermatologist, but she wants an overnight quick-fix that just doesn't happen. She's been crying like all week. I'm thinking "good grief, it's only acne!!!" But to her, life is over. When I was 17, I already had 2 kids. Victoria is about to be 17.

Im only on pills for things i will die without, and turns out i stopped taking them for a week on accident. i should start taking them again. My mom had me at 16 and my brother at 17. its part of the reason i want to leave. it would make it so much easier on her. sorry my laptop got stolen so i couldnt reply sooner

How are you today, sweetie? I just read your post and I wanted to see how you're doing. Things better? Holla!

I am okay. I don't have any purpose, but im not suicidal right now.

a true tragedy is a loss of life, made even more tragic when it is at the hand of ones self. suicide is not the answer, it is a horrible thing to feel so bad that you are sure death is the only escape, i have been there myself, but it is these bad times that will make the good times that will come all the more amazing, everytime something makes you smile or laugh or feel silly, just imagine never have gotten the chance to all because you chose to end it all in a moment where happieness seemed impossible. like there is only darkness in the abscence of light. there is only painful times because there are good

The fact that you got so close to that edge, took so many pills, and still lived. PROVES that God has an amazing plan for you. I have had those thoughts since I was 11. I started cutting when I was 6. I read a book that was waaaaay to old for me. I hope that you get the help and support from your friends or family or even a professional that you need. You are worth it and keep your chin up :) Im glad your here.

You know what? Its easy to take oneself life! It takes someone strong and willing to fight to keep going. You are strong I know it.