Where do I start...I hate my life at the moment. You wouldn't know it from the outside, but I am falling apart and have been for quite sometime. I am on the verge of losing my house, business, and cars. To make matters wose hubby is a cocaine addict who blames everything on me. He didn't like the way my 16 year old daughter answered him last night and all hell broke loose. Dinner was all over the kitchen, kids crying, me crying...and apparently it was all my fault. I am living a terrible lie, everyone thinks my life is so great. The funny part is when he's not crazy like that all is good and somehow I miraculously forget everything that happened. Today I wanted to kill myself, something I have thought about for a long time, something I just can't seem to follow through with. I have had a horrible life from the start. A selfish mother, a deserted father, a molesting step-father, and a drug addict husband. Where does one go with a life like that? I can't take it much more, I cut myself and I am 41 years old, but I want to die so I can make everyone see what they did to me.