This Wishful Thinking Is Killing Me.........

I have had wishful thinking and unfulfilled desire for my husband for 13 years.  i keep hoping for a miracle.  Both kids were away at camp all summer. Two nights ago I gave him a BJ and he loved it. I thought "ok, now he'll open up and want me". Wrong! Last night he got mad at me for something and insulted and berated me. He tells me he loves me and appreciates me but the physical part to our marriage is nil. He says he is NOT gay. Years ago he was into cocaine and hookers. He says all men are pigs and don't really want passion and love making. He says men just want BJs.  HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!

jitylu jitylu
51-55, F
2 Responses Aug 12, 2007

You have the perfect ripe and ready for your guidance. He is having doubts about his identity because he needs you to meet him halfway. He may have had something happen to him in the past with another man that tainted him. However, if YOU can take the male role, and encourage him to be more open with his feelings, A LOT will be accomplished. Too many times guys try to lead by being "macho." This doesn't work. YOU must be the "man" to help him figure stuff out.

Leave this man. What he said to you is simply not true. Not all men are like that- very few in fact. I don't know you but I'm 100% positive that you deserve better.<br />
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Don't you think you've been mistreated for long enough?