Just Listen!

I have been seeing the same man for more than a year and I do love him. However, I find myself wanting more.  He says that he does not want a girlfriend but he our "relationship" is that of people who are seeking commitment.  He tells me to talk to him but when I do talk to him, he shuts down or talks only about himself. When I am around him, he is always hugging me and kissing me and telling me that he really likes him.  However, lately, he does not text or call as much as he used to.  Last week, we went almost the whole week without speaking and then he tells me that he missed me!  Yet, he did not make the effort to see me.  Its like he would rather sit and play on MySpace than to talk to me.  Then when he finally saw me yesterday, he started telling me things and going didn't I tell you this. I told him that he had not talked to me at all in the past few days.  He did not respond to that at all.  We go through seasons in this "relationship" and I don't know if I can take this roller coaster ride anymore.
Yoruichi Yoruichi
22-25, F
2 Responses Aug 12, 2007

I think he is playing with you. He probably does like you, but he is keeping you on the back burner because he doesn't want to lose you, but he doesn't want to commit to you. If you're ok with a no strings attached friendship with benefits, then face that that is what it is. If not, tell him you are not the kind of girl to be second-place, stand up for yourself, and give him an ultimatum--date me once and for all exclusively, or just be my friend--NO benefits. Good luck...easier said than done, I know.

Looks like if he can't be the man, you should be the "man." Take some initiative and approach him with things that will test his devotion to you. Compile a list of things to do that would test his identity and open up his more "flowery" side to make sure he isn't, you know.<br />
Dancing, gardening, clthing, shopping, yoga (pilates), etc.