I Love Him But I'm Not Sexually Attracted

Omg somebody please give me your honest opinion. Ok I'm dating this guy that I used to date when I was younger in which I was insecure back then and was just happy to have a man.this guy is not what I'm attracted to but I truly love him with all my heart and the thoughts that I have makes me hurt and I feel like crying I feel so bad.sometimes I like him and then I don't. I don't like him sucking my breasts or kissing or anything majority the time. We live together but it happened so quick being that I was in a bad financial situation he decided we move together.hes such a good guy but he has two kids 35 and just not my type. I'm 26 and want to pursue my career as a flight attendant and I have no kids. I'm in a bad situation being that I just got a job but I still have to get my liscence together and a new car.this is beneficial to me but I feel horrible the way I'm doing it but I know if I told him I'd like to be friends and help him with bills after money flows he may end up kicking me out and I will have nowhere to go. Before I do the flight career he convinced me to do cosmetology in which I'm good at just to have a trade under my belt being that I don't have any college degree. I decided that would be a good idea but it takes a whole year and he's planning on us getting a bigger house so his kids can come over at times and he wants to get married and I agree only because I truly do want to buy I want to but I think it's the dream of it. I know he loves me and I love him too but the physical attraction is gone. I live out of state and I can't go back to my hometown I will be working here. When we are out I'm looking at other men.i just wish he could look better although he has changed a lot for me as far as his apprearance it's still a lot of work. I don't think he wants me to be a flight attendant he's rather me just do hair but that's not my passion. I think that is why he recommended the cosmetology class which takes a year so we could be together. Im not throwing my lifelong dream for anyone even if I was all the way attracted to them. I hate that I'm in this situation with not having a car and trying to reestablish myself even tho I would like to tell him but I don't think I'd be able to get myself together if I did.but what made me not feel so bad about the situation is that he was dating a women before me and he used her for money and kicked her to the curb. She told him karma would come but I don't want to be the one that gives it.he also spends more money on us then he does with his kids nuts he's been holding back on them even before I came in which I've only been here two months. Someone please leave a response
Kimw85 Kimw85
26-30, F
May 9, 2012