Don't I Know It

I finally realized it with my first and only love. We had been together for a about 3 and a half years and we had so much love for each other. We had our arguments like everyone does but the love was always there. We both made a couple of mistakes along the way (thankfully i don't meen cheating on each other, it was just hiding things from each other that made the trust drop). So when some of the white lies became exposed we developed a few trust issues. We both know that these white lies were told to save the others feelings (because we loved each other) it just made us think "if thats the case then what else are they hiding" so that made us develop a bit of paranoia too. When we finally broke up, we were both very sad and where as i used the excuse "but we love each other, why are we doing this if it hurts so much?", he said "Love isn't enough". After weeks of hurting and being confused as to why we broke up i finally realized what he had said. It takes more than love. You need trust and faith in each other too. If that's not there, then love just will not win.

I still love him very much to this day but i know that he is right. But sometimes i really do just wish that love was enough because i would still be with the guy i love today.

SammyCymru SammyCymru
22-25, F
7 Responses Mar 28, 2009

Once all subjects are approached with your lover, even those you fear to approach them with .. then you will know their true feelings. It is unfair and unwise to try to hide anything from him. He must know things about you. Your true feelings, thoughts, opinions, preferences on many things need to be shared. You will learn what kind of tolerance, acceptance, compassion he has for you and others. White lies are for very tiny things that probably don't matter. Bigger than that and it is deception. You don't want to deceive a person to be loved by them. If you have to do that, they are not really loving you, only loving who they think is you. Always try to be as honest as you can, it will really always pay off. Good luck and i hope you will find a real love and unconditional love. :)

Well she already knew right? Maybe if you never wore them in her company she may have thought you had got rid of your taste in footwear and maybe is just surprised to find otherwise? <br />
If she loves you will she will accept you and your choices. I guess at the moment she will just be somewhat sulking, but women get over it. Just give her space to let it sink back in i guess. Hope all is well!

Your story sounds painfully familiar.<br />
My relationship has been going on for a lot longer. we have caught each other out several times whilst not quite telling the truth. I am beginning to think that this is being seriously detrimental to an otherwise loving relationship. <br />
The thing that has got me at the moment is... She found the picture which i took my avitar from and instantly realised that it was me. Now I did tell her years (maybe 10) ago about my occasional unusual taste in footware and we talked about it then but I never wore heels in her company. So now that she has seen a picture it seems she thinks that i've been hiding it from her, wheras to me it seems that i just hadn't forced a subject that wasn't really important.<br />
I think I've wandered far enough from the point, whatever it was?<br />
Oh yes, I really do hope that love is enough!

Hi Sammy.... just don't worry. Love is always enough... confusions do arise in every relationship, but then there's a always a sliver lining. I'm sure you'll get him back in your life. I'll wish for you. :)

You will love again. Take the great memories you both shared and keep them with you forever. Learn from your mistakes and it will make your next relationship so much better and healthier. We all do wierd things in the name of love, forgive yourself. Good luck, it will get better!!

I know i guess i kinda felt like i was doing it for love but i really wish i did tell him now.

Hiding things to "save" someones feelings is never about love. You should be able to tell your mate everything. After all, they are supposed to also be your best friend. Mistrust will ruin any relationship.