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Kinda, Of Sorts... *confused*

Well last year I was seeing a guy who was a Hermit because he was afraid of living and letting people in. I met him in a very unique way... I was a door to door sales person and I knocked on his door. In a VERY SHORT time the relationship was INTENSE! He couldn't handle it and to avoid confrontation I wrote a Dear John letter.

That was last year. Fast forward, he called me a couple weeks ago and wanted to talk. It wasn't until I saw him that I felt weight fall off me. During the past few months I was hyperventilating everytime someone brought out a newpaper as I was afraid I would see his obit. He told me that after I walked away he contemplated suicide and decided to talk to a family friend. He then moved to a 3rd world country, now is clean, has a full time job, works toward a life goal and owns a dog! I'm so proud of him.

The complicated part is I love him and he went back... which I couldn't stop (not that I wanted to). He said that he is coming back in May and will call me then. I want him and truly love him as I did the first time we spoke. So in a way I am with someone I love!

I am also very close to my son and he loves me unconditionally as I do for him!

GoddessNakiBean GoddessNakiBean 36-40, F Dec 2, 2009

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