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I've Made Peace With My Circumtances.

I just turned 50 and I married late in life. I always thought I would be married in my 30's, but that didn't happen. I am one of the tradtional women who want to be married and then have a baby. Well...things didn't work out like I thought and it seemed I never meet the right man or the right man for me was the right man for someone else. I married at 46 and though I considered having a baby I really didn'nt know if I could. My husband already had 2 grown children and did not want anymore. I've made peace about the fact that I won't have children. I think what makes it difficult is the fact the older I get I know I am missing out on all the fun family activites. I am very thankful for my neice, she really does love me and enjoys my company and I adore her.
I don't believe that God caused this to happen, but rather there are many things that play a part of this. For one I think our society plays a huge roll in how we view life. In my generation it was the idea of woman landing that career, be independent and then when your ready it will all come together, not so. Men are different now too, and we all wanted to wait to get married and have a family. Maybe it sounds like excuses but I don't think so. It was my life and I kept thinking I had time.
Let me also say that I did not have men beating my door down either wanting to date and that is not because of my looks, not sure why (I was a little shy).
I don't want to be lonely in my older years and I was lonely for a very long time. It is difficult going through Mother's Day and Baby Shower's. I avoid these things if possible. I do rejoice in other's happiness and take joy in their children and what happens in their lives.
There are so many children out in the world who have mother's but really aren't a mother to there children at all. I've had the privilege of being a mother figure to a few children and that has been a blessing. Remember, there are those who could use that influence in there lives.
The childless mother's have a purpose....let's find out what we can do to make someone's life better.
coastalgirl12 coastalgirl12 46-50 Jun 6, 2011

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