I'm Angry.I want to thank my husband for finding you. I'm a very angry woman. I do not know how to cope with not having a child. When I was married the first time at 21, I was ready to have a child. Every year passed by, no child. We went to a dr. Had all the test done. No reason for not being pregnant. next year passed by. I watched my sisters and sisters in law and friends have children, year after year. When was it going to be my turn? I waited. I prayed. Still nothing.It took a toll on my marriage, divorced after almost 9 years. Single for 9 years, (child bearing years). Married Satan for 3 years, divorced. Then married James at the age of 45. Went to the dr to see if I was too old. Got pregnant and miscarried due to so much stress from my ex and Jame's ex. My ex found a way to have me arrested over a debt he left me with, he was paying the debt because he took the truck, trailer and 4 wheelers. The bank called, I told them to take it out of his account.I thought he went back offshore and forgot. Wrong. James' has a spoiled grown son that was 23 that had brain cancer when he was 2. His ex called him everyday to take the son here and do this. She hated it when I got pregnant. That was going to take away from her son, grown son.
I never got pregnant again. We tried. Months passed by again. Then I was too old and diagnosed with pre-cancer cells of the breast. Now I'm taking tamoxifen. I'm 49. I've worked for 30 years and still working. I regret not having a child. I cry all the time. I feel like all of you. Why is God blessing other women with children? Why some women have children and don't want them? Why us that wants children and don't? Adoption is expensive. I hate myself. Now I am very angry. I too would love my child. My first ex that remarried has a 13 year old daughter. The 2nd ex already had a daughter and my 3rd husband already had a son. I do not understand. I feel like I wasted my life. Now I am very miserable. Thank you for letting me get it out. I cried after reading every story. I cried for all of us. Other than you I had no one to communicate with.
debmclain 46-50, F 2 Responses 1 Nov 23, 2011