Happy Mother's Day = I'm A Loser Day!!

So Today is Mother's Day and my niece just had her second baby yesterdary at 10 minutes till midnight. My sister in law called to tell me the good news and I acted like I was so happy, but really I just wanted to cry. Then you have all of the messages of how much everyone loves their moms and how they helped make them who they are today. Mother's Day this year makes me feel like a failure. I just had my total hysterectomy on Tuesday so now it is official (not that it wasn't before) I can't have any children. My endometreosis was way worse than my doctor even thought. He said he felt like he needed a shovel to clean me out of all the crap from endo. He also said that he had heard of endometreosis of the appendix but had never seen it until me. Seems I'm very special.....not the kind of special I want to be! I would have given almost anything to be a mom to a mini me and my husband and now this will never ever be!! I'm totally devastated and I won't let anyone else know because I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. So my life will continue the same way it always has but my heart will never be the same. Soon I will have to see the new baby of the family and I just don't want to!! What is a woman's wealth if she doesn't have any children?? What is my wealth??
fendersmom fendersmom
41-45, F
5 Responses May 13, 2012

I know it aint exactly the same but you can still have kids in youre life by addopting

I am now five weeks past my hysterectomy and my doc said I was the worst case of endometriosis he has ever seen. He said that I would have never gotten pregnant with as messed up as i was inside. I guess I'm special my appendix was "plastered to the wall on my right side", that is was the doc said. He also said that other parts were moved around inside my body by the endometriosis. I'm trying very hard not to be devastated by this since it is what it is but it sure is hard.

I understand your pain and how you feel. I am 37 years old, and have not had any live children multipal miscarriages. I have no children and i feel like a looser, on mother's day. For me mother's day is the worst day. I feel a little better knowing that their are other women who have gone through simial things i have gone through. Thanks for sharing your story!

It really sucks, I've started to tell myself that 7bn population, I am doing the world a favour and all these stupid young girls getting pregnant are a curse on the world.

Your wealth is that you are a caring and loving person. I don't have human children and have gone through much. I know that MY WEALTH is that I've lived through infertility and multiple pregnancies w/no living children here, and that I can still love and know that what I can offer is knowledge and understanding to those that feel alone. This knowledge may not be for your family (as it's NOT for mine), but even more importantly for a stranger that need an ear. An understanding ear that doesn't have any judgement.