I Can't Cope.

I am 18 years old, and I am unable to have children. I discovered this when my dad thought I had appendicitis and took me to the hospital when I was 15. When I arrived there, turns out I was born without an appendix.... And without a kidney... And, without a uterus. The doctors told me, "Sometimes things happen and there are no reasons for it." and left me with that. Since then I have simply pretended I wasn't bothered by that, simply because I was so young, and getting pregnant wasn't and still isn't in my top priorities right now. But, it does bother me. I'm scared. Everywhere I go makes me sad.. Seeing little toddler siblings playing together at the mall, or a father buying his little boy a toy at the store, or even a parent holding hands with their young child walking into my work tears my heart in half. I have no one to talk to, I Live on my own, and I don't want to seem attention seeking or annoying... I just want hope that I will have a family of my own one day. I want hope that I won't be alone. I want to hold my daughter/sonshand when we walk across the street one day. My dream is to become a teacher after high school, and I fear that because of my inability to cope I won't achieve that dream. It's so hard seeing all these STUPID UNDESERVING teenage girls in my high school get pregnant, while I am unable to even later in life. I feel broken. And I have nowhere to go for answers, or advice.. I feel so much better after reading others' stories on here. I am happy I discovered it. My main hope was having maybe someone carry a baby for me? But I don't know how it works, and it is probably super expensive.. If anyone has any information about this subject, I'd really appreciate it..
AMitchell13 AMitchell13
18-21, F
4 Responses Dec 5, 2012

I am 23 years old and find out at 17 that I also was born without a uterus. I feel the same thoughts you do. I've yet to learn to cope because I feel like everyday I have reminders that all these people aren't fit to be having kids and there popping them out left and right. I think daily why can't I? I want it more than half those people. But I'm not even given the chance? Instead I'm gonna have to spend a lot of money just to try to see if someone can carry it for me. It does seem unfair. But my life is controlled by a man who has a plan. I just hope god intended for me to struggle like this so later on in life I'd realize why me!

I am 21 years old, and found out when I was 19 that I cannot concieve. I like you, pretended it did not bug me. Being a teen, I wanted to get a career before even thinking of a family. Now all I can think about is children, having a family, etc. All those little moments. Yes, there is adoption, and yes there is surrogacy... but it's never the same is it? I just want to experience pregnancy.. a baby belly, the cute waddle at the end. I definitely understand it, and it isn't getting easier.

My story is a little different but I'm 21 and can't conceive ( my family has no idea) but I recently spoke to my husband about having my little sister (18)carry our baby and I know she would do that for me and more but I'm also doing research on it ill keep you posted on what I find

Aww cheer up.I can imagine how you feel though. I have 2 daughters that you can have(j/k):.) but there are plenty of options like adoption or having someone carry for you. Like you mentioned it is probably expensive. Google it to get more info. Good luck.