I like many other women I can't have children. I am 37 and have been married to a great guy for a long time. I have brought up his child as my own and now I find myself bringing up 2 children of which are from another family member.

I love all the children to pieces but its not the same as carrying or giving birth to your own.

I feel so empty and lonely at times I find myself crying and hurting so much. My family live abroad so I dont have close contact even though I talk to them every day.

I dont have anyone where live to listen as they dont understand as they already have children.

Maybe you understand what I am saying x

valta valta
36-40, F
4 Responses Mar 13, 2009

Hi I also have a boyfriend with 5yr son and 12yr old daughter , it is so hard not being able to have my own ever. I have bonded with his children , but I can't accept what was taken away from me !

i am 41 years old and i have finally got married and settled down. i look after my step daughter is is sweet but when my husband mentioned he was going to have a vasectomy today i fell apart emotionally. it is the one thing i have always wanted but when i was young i was forced to have an abortion. i feel God has punished me and i felt like i am completely broken. my husband did not want to have more kids because he is 45. sometimes i ask myself if i left him would i be shopping for a man to have a baby with? i think that i am losing my faith. i dont know what to do with my life now. even though i am a nurse i feel like i have no purpose anymore and that part of me has died. it hurts so much. i am so sad.

Wow, I would feel the same way that you do, but I would have definitely voiced my opinion. I hope that it did not take place and you are possibly pregnant now? :)

Hi<br />
I'm sorry you hurt so much. I too, have not been able to have children, but help bring up my husband's 3 children whom I love very much. I thought the 'wanting' of a child of my own would pass once I got to a certain age - but it hasn't... not really... it gets easier but it's still a very lonely experience. I don't really know what the answer is as I don't think the feelings will ever subside so perhaps it's a case of trying to accept the feelings. I don't know really. I try to look at all the good things I have in my life and not hanker after something I can’t do anything about. All women are mothers on so many levels and you are doing such a selfless thing by bringing up other people’s children – that’s an incredible thing to do full time. They are lucky to have you. Be kind to yourself. Metta x

i totally agree with u georgiah but imn my case i have no1s children to help raise all my family have children apart from me and i find as im getting older its beginning to hurt all over again but worse somehow i try to cope with the situation the best i can but it never ever goes away the pain i wish every1 good luck and hope things can get even a little better for u all xxx

Although I cant relate to what you are going through, I just wanted to say how sorry I am. Those that you are raising right now are blessed to have a caring woman love them and raise them and they will never forget that. You are right though its not the same but know that your love is so important to them and I admire you so very much for taking on that responsibility. I will pray that you be blessed one day with a child of your own! Many Blessings to you and hugs!