I Think I Made A Mistake

My husband is a sweet sweet guy. He is gentle and romantic, if all thumbs at times. He is helpful around the house, and never forgets birthdays or anniversaries.

He greatest flaw is that he has no guts when it comes to standing up to his family. They push him around, and press his buttons; but if he wants to keep them happy he will end up upsetting me. His family is very demanding of his time and attention and effort, it is continuous, one thing after another. He cannot balance the attention he gives them and me and our child, so our little family is neglected - gets the short end of the stick.

Because of their demands of him, their constant calls and requests for help, his job and work are affected too, yet he never tells them this. When he is frustrated by the time he spends on them, he only shows this to me. When I tell him he needs to set boundaries and rules, he gets angry with me. They have no respect for the fact that he is married with a family of his own, they disregard me, and it galls me that he doesn't stand up and tell them off once and for all. They are very formal and closed off with me, and it is quite often that he prefers to keep them happy and apologize to me. Please them now, make it up to my wife later. I've lost count of the number of times we have argued over this.

I look at him now and feel pity for his weakness, for his indecision, for his inability to manage his life, his marriage and his relationships. I feel he doesn't understand how to make them feel valued yet understand their place and his priorities.

I say it's not my problem and he's the one who has to sort himself out, but it ends up affecting our lives as a couple, as parents, as a nuclear family. It affects his attention to us, to his home, to his job. I hate feeling like I made a mistake by marrying him.

yukaa yukaa
26-30, F
Feb 7, 2010